Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, at around 12 a.m. I went to bed, happy that I get to sleep in because I had nowhere be in the morning. Sadly that came to an end when I woke up around 7 a.m. to my mom coming home and screaming because she saw a mouse. FML
Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML
Today, I was playing a video game that required me to hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw what I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML
Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
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Top comments
xoxoemmers 4
Rodents do know best
lovelydarlings 6
Guinea pigs need sleep too!
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Comments (341)
xoxoemmers 4
Rodents do know best
Eggers 2
you own a microwave, right? (gets ready for comment to be buried)
XxREXxX 0
okay, so ur 20, play video games at 2am and have a guinea pig?
Squirrelx 5
Nice picture. :)
XxREXxX 0
YDI
dcard24 0
Ductape solves everything.
holybuckets 0
What in hell is your picture of?
MichellinMan 20
That would not work because it's a guinea pig, and it word cover his face and he would die.
EvilCupcake8361 9
wtf is in your picture?????
GoneClubbin 9
Its a poptart cat
beckybecks20 8
That is so ******* cute. :')
BobsUrAunty 2
your picture reminds me of a used tampon...
kikirara_fml 0
you awful human being
kikirara_fml 0
you awful human being
Autocorrect 0
What is your profile picture?
F0xyTurtle 8
How do you not know nyan cat o.O??
kikirara_fml 0
your an awful person
13FTW 9
Kikirara, who the **** are you referring to?
Hockey_fan 0
Duct tape....a guinea pig?....what is wrong with you!
False_Stupidity 42
To the ceiling...
AnagenisisZagus 13
My, my, 30! You're learning so fast! Read it again and tell us all about the ******* shit we just read. Please?
False_Stupidity 42
To the ceiling!
elephantom12 9
What the **** is up with your damn picture? You sick twisted son of a bitch.
deadrising084 1
30-for the most part (minus the guinea pig) sounds like a normal college kid
flydragonpie 2
theres nothing wrong with that at all!
Bofferding_fml 6
Well because I joke about something, it means that I really plan on doing it? Dear lord, people have no humor here..
dogpup4 23
I thought everyone knew about Nyan Cat...
MichellinMan 20
MY PIC IS NYAN CAT. LOOK IT UP ON YOUTUBE. and the my first comment was referring to the guy who said to duct tape the Guinea pig.
Bofferding_fml 6
Ductape him
samsea 5
Your stupid suggesting that.
lovelydarlings 6
Guinea pigs need sleep too!
purplebluetattoo 3
Yeah you were probably keeping him up. :)
LouisianaBob 9
Lights and every few seconds BOoobmbobmombOM I NEED A MEDIC! Yeah that will keep you awake.
LadyLexi 0
Also if your playing GTA, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! GET THE **** OUTTA MY WAY" followed by gunshots and a car speeding away would keep you up too.
smgc68 3
Guinea pigs are nocturnal.
13FTW 9
173, guinea pigs are diurnal.. Get your facts straight bud.
J0gby 0
His guinea pig is smarter than he is!!!
GoneClubbin 9
I was 100th repllier
HumanWiki 8
Maybe you should have more concern for your pet's health. Would you be so different if it was making noise all night?
construction 7
I'd put it outside ...
LadyLexi 0
Yeah, good idea, putting it outside because it's so much like a dog and it won't run away or get lost. Dumbass.
MsMeiriona 2
In the cage, nitwit.
Happy777 0
Why the **** would I get a pet that did annoying shit all night? Either I would let it outside and hope it gets its annoying ass away from me, and secondly it's a ******* guinea pig, they don't live that Long and aren't very intelligent, so why the **** would I let it dictate my bedtime?? Exactly. I wouldn't that little ****** had better hope it shuts the hell up if I was trying to get shit done like play video games or watch tv when I goddamn felt like it. Or OP could wear headphones :) teehee
jhashj 0
218- one of my guinea pigs just died... At the "not so long" age of 11. They do live a long time and they're smart, diurnal (like humans), and vocal. This isn't a night-owl, crazy dog barking at backyard animals. (no offense dog owners) this is an animal who was trying to sleep. He was pissed in the same way you would be pissed if your neighbors were screaming at the tops of their lungs outside of your bedroom window at 2 am.
Grimmerie 31
guinea pigs are skittery, squealing, annoying *****. rats hardly ever make noise, run out of the cage to spend time with you when you open the door, and can be trained to use a litterbox and come when you call. hell, i play fetch with one of my rats.
deathbreadstick 10
Rodents actually do not smell if you clean their bedding regularly enough. And even if you don't clean it for a while, it smells a hell of a lot better than cat shit in a litter box.
catharsis5 9
If it helps, I think it's adorable.
Iskaria 0
Me too, they have the cutest little personalities ^^
hollyman 0
Oh way that freaking hilarious!!!!!!!
Llama_Face89 34
This sentence makes no sense to me...
MichellinMan 20
What?
j_cat187 20
Cuz I'm on crack!!
matthewbrazier 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Damn, ydi for having no life
Llama_Face89 34
Just because he's staying up late playing a video game? Does it say anywhere that this is a nightly occurrence or that he's been playing all day? He could have a day off coming up. While I admit that there's nothing to say he does have a life, there's also no cause to jump to the conclusion he doesn't.
sufferinurjocks 3
Damn, you're ******* retarded. Gamers do have lives.
MichellinMan 20
He didn't say he does it every night, moron. Just because he's playing at 2 am, doesn't mean he has no life. So I'll say it again, your a moron.
beckybecks20 8
Thumbs up for making me laugh. c:
cBlackout 13
How do video games dictate wether you have no life or not? Please explain.
ohSNAPyall 27
178 it depends how active your guild membership is.
foodlord 5
Ydi 4 having a guinea pig
WCARlover 35
Get rid of it?
WCARlover 35
Well if OP has a problem with it why keep it?
Saltime 0
Its' something called love.
ikickgingers 15
I bitch about my dog... Doesn't mean I'm sending her to the basement and making her put the lotion on.
WCARlover 35
I'm just saying if OP felt the need to post an FML about it, then that seemed like a solution. And dogs and guinea pigs are much different.
ArcadePie 10
How is possible to be too old to own a guinea pig?
ikickgingers 15
People get attached to weird pets. Fml someone had a shirt on and didn't know what it meant Fml my neighbors wifi has a funny name... Not all fmls are meant to be serious... :D
ArcadePie 10
How is it possible to be too old to own a guinea pig?
ArcadePie 10
How is it possible to be too old to own a guinea pig?
Saltime 0
50, what? I couldn't hear you.
MichellinMan 20
Put the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again!
WCARlover 35
Ok ok u guys have enlightened me
Happy777 0
If that was my guinea pig, i would have ensured that it shut the **** up. Haha by putting it in a different room, wearing headphones, getting the fick over it, getting a girlfriend perhaps
ejjamael 5
lmao!!!!!
ArcadePie 10
Sorry app messed up
ms_YoungMula 8
Your pet only has the best intentions lol
KjoeLjan 4
YDI for playing so long it even freaks out a guinea pig, as well as for having a guinea pig on the age of 20.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Theres an age limit to what animal we can get? Also, for gamers, some free time = play time...