Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter, who is going through a vegan phase, pulled the plug for our garage chest freezer, where we store our meat. That's $1200 of meat, rotten. My husband is so mad that he's been at the gym for six hours straight. FML
Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I found out my ex-husband left the fridge full of rotting meat in the house that I'm selling. I turned off the power to the house in March. Now the whole house stinks, and I had to have the fridge professionally removed and the kitchen cleaned because buyers are coming to look at it tomorrow. FML
Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
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Top comments
katamaridamacy 0
I would kill your housemate and serve him at your sister's wedding.
o3o 0
I'm a vegetarian too, but that's just wrong. :o I understand when people eat meat, it's not like I can change them. But what your roommate did was going too far. -_- Oh, and tell him to stop supporting PETA. T_T
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Comments (512)
mycleverusername 0
There is a shirt on Threadless you should buy. It says: "Meat is murder. Tasty, Tasty murder." Wear it around your housemate as much as you possibly can. Also, get rid of all the food in the house and then in an act of supposed apology, offer to go out and buy him some food and come back with Burger King and Chick-fil-a. Then sue. Because you're gonna be broke after losing $1,000 dollars on the food for your sister's wedding, buying a new shirt, and then buying fast food. Forcing your beliefs down someone's throat is just wrong. Forcing down tofu is worse.
wutupbruh 0
you could possibly be one of the most hilarious people on fmylife.
ThePowerIsMine 0
Exactly! We're not all bad.
poiplayer 0
Or Maddox's shirt that says "for every animal you don't eat, I will eat 3"
sadistmonkey 19
meaning he's killing oxygen by eating the vegetables that produce oxygen....
lovejamienicole 0
hi. i love you.
stone_light 0
EPIC WIN #20
dubbadee123 5
I agree tofu sucks
mycleverusername 0
There is a shirt on Threadless you should buy. It says: "Meat is murder. Tasty, Tasty murder." Wear it around your housemate as much as you possibly can. Also, get rid of all the food in the house and then in an act of supposed apology, offer to go out and buy him some food and come back with Burger King and Chick-fil-a. Then sue. Because you're gonna be broke after losing $1,000 dollars on the food for your sister's wedding, buying a new shirt, and then buying fast food. Forcing your beliefs down someone's throat is just wrong. Forcing down tofu is worse.
superswagbro 7
Cool story bro, tell it again.
CFR 0
Yeah but...Meat is murder. Silly things like weddings don't make that better. You...meat murderer, you... I've had a few friends who were vegetarians--I was even thinking about becoming one myself (but I love chicken too much) --and they never pushed that belief on me or anyone else, it was just a personal choice for them. I didn't shun them for their choice either...I hate it when people do that...
HahaYDI 0
Oh, I'm sorry number 17, I read number 1's comment and then I read yours directly under it and it doesn't seem to have to do with anything number 1 talked about...strange, because it appears you were replying to it.
Synnie 0
Holy shit it's the apocalypse.
Rouge_Plague 0
DAMN STRAIGHT
CharlotteRx 4
I would definitely do that!! And have bbqs every weekend for the rest of the year.
dsnke1 0
Holy **** the moderators are modding the shit out of this. **** you mods! Probably a ******* vegan themself
mps1969 8
He needs to pay you for the meat then give him notice to find a new place to live .
waterynuggets 0
PETA is full of shit. Not partially, full.
ddrluna 2
You're a ******* idiot. It's not like throwing the meat out would bring them back to life. Now that person has to buy more meat which = twice the "murder" anyway. I hope you choke on a piece of celery, asshole.
allmidnighteyes 11
WTF is your roommate Davey Havok?
vev_fml 0
Yep. You need a new housemate. :(