Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by saying, "Good morning! We're going to be vegans from now on." FML
Today, I actually overheard the sentence, “People who can’t go vegan for medical reasons should die gracefully rather than eat an animal.” FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, I noticed my sister's dog was very sick. One trip to the vet's later, the dog was diagnosed with gut problems caused by bad diet, and a life expectancy of about 3 months. I confronted my sister, who admitted she had the dog on the same vegan diet as her, to “save the planet.” Selfish hippie cow. FML
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Top comments
PSYqualiac 17
She was probably more concerned about the meat she doesn't eat. Sorry if my joke isn't kosher. I'm just hamming it up.
604 11
She just needs a hug. And bacon.
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Comments (110)
val_is_lame97 12
That's carzy. Maybe time to find someone.... NOT vegan
EvilLittleMan 23
Cat Lady in training.
siggy_mcsigx 22
I hope you find someone (else) who loves you and values you being alive.
americanafrican 32
plants are alive too!
RedPillSucks 33
i love the screams they make when i rip them out of the ground
Steffi3 40
It's not just upsetting, letting you die wouldn't be 'vegan' either. Get out of there while you still can!
vikky538 29
does she know what the real meaning of vegan...
kaykayduhon 7
You're in Australia. the animal she was trying to save would probably kill her anyway.
lina21 12
My question is did you ask fishing to make yourself feel good, or did she just volunteer it?
jl_word 10
Did you argue that as a human you're an animal?
Sathane 21
Should have told her, "That's alright. I'd rather eat a steak than you any day."