Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by saying, "Good morning! We're going to be vegans from now on." FML
Today, I actually overheard the sentence, “People who can’t go vegan for medical reasons should die gracefully rather than eat an animal.” FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, I noticed my sister's dog was very sick. One trip to the vet's later, the dog was diagnosed with gut problems caused by bad diet, and a life expectancy of about 3 months. I confronted my sister, who admitted she had the dog on the same vegan diet as her, to “save the planet.” Selfish hippie cow. FML
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Top comments
PSYqualiac 17
She was probably more concerned about the meat she doesn't eat. Sorry if my joke isn't kosher. I'm just hamming it up.
604 11
She just needs a hug. And bacon.
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Comments (110)
teamnikster 9
Think of it from her point of view... she's crazy
PenguinBitch 44
Now you know if it's ever her or an animal, chose the animal because that's what she'll want.
WCARlover 35
You should tell her that if you had to choose between your relationship and anything else, that the relationship would automatically lose.
Bryndaboss 10
Probably cause you eat everything, but the beef.. I'm sorry. That was bad.
ladyg228 15
Guess someone lost their marbles
Ina_Pickle 4
Why in the world would you date a girl who doesn't eat the meat?
carecow 16
Pretty much everything vegans do is hardcore.
Dinonick 15
She seems like one of the vegans who are vegan for the sake of feeling superior than everyone else rather than the (from what im told) real reason people are vegans. Because all life is valuable. She doesnt seem to get that apparently
Blippety 23
Wait, that's NOT the only reason people go vegan!?
infinitemonkey 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You deserve to die for that apostrophe in "animals." Seriously, though, never stick your dick in crazy. (And, for really truthful, everyone is crazy. Find the crazy that complement yours, and you can live happily ever after. Really.)
lapcat 7
The apostrophe is correct...
Imareth 10
The apostrophe, as noted, is correct. The sentence omits the word 'life' again at the end, because readers (should) understand that it could be repeated, and refers back to the initial mention. Full sentence would read: Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's life. Perhaps brush up on your knowledge of punctuation, grammar and sentence structure before attempting the grammar Nazi role that seems to thrive online, despite most people having absolutely no idea what they're actually talking about. At least that way when you next wish someone dead, your reason could at least be correct and informative.
beanthemouse 13
Deserving to die over bad grammer? Gammer Nazis are starting to become more like their Hitler worshipping cousins. You disgust me.
Imareth 10
That sucks. Unlike your control over punctuation. That's fine.
Imareth 10
Oookay... above, I get +12 for pointing out the OPs punctuation is fine. Here, I say his situation sucks, but his punctuation is fine and get -10. Perhaps people should try, y'know, reading posts correctly. *rolls eyes*
Arwen_Evenstar 37
Here it reads like you're being sarcastic about their punctuation being fine.