Today, my two year-old has learned new things from his best friend. His best friend is our dog. He's learned to eat dog food, lick people, and now he's started taking off his diaper to lift his leg and pee. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
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Top comments
Nabexis 9
On the bright side, you now have hilarious stories to tell his future romantic partner when he brings them to meet you.
kirkaygri 18
How does this have upvotes? All kids mimic animals. It has nothing to do with parenting. My kid barked at the doorbell at that age. I run a daycare and deal with a lot of kids. I currently have a two year old in my care, and just yesterday he was laying on the ground next to my dog, mimicking my dog. The dog would roll over, the kid would roll over. It's what kids do. The peeing thing is weird, that I'll admit, but the rest is normal two year old activity and shouldn't be used to judge parenting.
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Comments (30)
Nabexis 9
On the bright side, you now have hilarious stories to tell his future romantic partner when he brings them to meet you.
Moskaaa7 26
Get him a cat now, so he can learn from the cat.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Why? If he copies the dog, at least you can train him to do stuff. If he copies the cat he'll expect to do whatever he wants all the time.
doodlesdork 7
Explaining to the doctors why your child has a hairball in his intestines would be fun.
Cadburry 11
When you take your dog and kid out :p sing who let the dogs out
GrumpyGrinch 23
My toddler learned to use potty from a cat, he watched the cat dig a hole in the garden, etc. Boy did the same. Then we told him that the plastic potty is a good and comfortable equivalent to the hole in the flower bed.
Prairydawg 6
What the hell does a two year old need a diaper for?
TomeDr 25
Because many two year olds aren't ready to potty train.
pharmalady 10
Despite a desire to use the potty, my son wasn't potty trained until he was 3. This is very common among boys.
luther48 20
@ 8. You can't "wait until they're ready." You as the parent have to direct your child and make sure they learn the things they need to know. Average age for potty training in 1950's was 11 months. Now it's 30 months (2.5). They're ready, it's just more difficult for the parent. We as parents need to stop blaming it on our kids "not being ready" and realize that it's our will to succeed.
sierra142 19
If you were talking about a 4 year old I would totally get what you're saying. This is a 2 year.
mattyiscool123 26
Once they piss themselves you'll take back this statement
TomeDr 25
#11, I am a mother of three kids and grandma of two. I'm am quite aware of how to potty train a child. I have been successful in this endeavor with all my kids, including the special needs one.
TomeDr 25
For goodness sake, get that child into a playgroup so he can get some human friends!
ssnow_fml 20
Just teach him how to hunt with his bare hands and release him into the wild. Maybe he will get movies made about him like Tarzan and George of the Jungle.
grabyourhooks 12
You're making some big assumptions. And you know what they say about assuming.
wanted_2_want 40
Just make sure both he got his shots. What! Too ruff??!?
trucker2 33
Dog- gone- it..... How cute.. Good luck Op