Self-defeating move

Dirty boy

Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

Bad doggy

Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML

Naughty boy

Today, my dog and I came in from an afternoon in the back yard and he immediately shat on the carpet. Way to go boy. FML

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

Treasure hunt

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML