Today, my two year-old has learned new things from his best friend. His best friend is our dog. He's learned to eat dog food, lick people, and now he's started taking off his diaper to lift his leg and pee. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
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Top comments
Nabexis 9
On the bright side, you now have hilarious stories to tell his future romantic partner when he brings them to meet you.
kirkaygri 18
How does this have upvotes? All kids mimic animals. It has nothing to do with parenting. My kid barked at the doorbell at that age. I run a daycare and deal with a lot of kids. I currently have a two year old in my care, and just yesterday he was laying on the ground next to my dog, mimicking my dog. The dog would roll over, the kid would roll over. It's what kids do. The peeing thing is weird, that I'll admit, but the rest is normal two year old activity and shouldn't be used to judge parenting.
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Comments (30)
kirkaygri 18
How does this have upvotes? All kids mimic animals. It has nothing to do with parenting. My kid barked at the doorbell at that age. I run a daycare and deal with a lot of kids. I currently have a two year old in my care, and just yesterday he was laying on the ground next to my dog, mimicking my dog. The dog would roll over, the kid would roll over. It's what kids do. The peeing thing is weird, that I'll admit, but the rest is normal two year old activity and shouldn't be used to judge parenting.
janfleury 19
Time for a human play group.
thunderniron 22
Hopefully he's housebroken. :-D
doodlesdork 7
That sucks but it's an adorable story for when they're older!
Taihaa7 2
ahh..the joys of parenthood!!
meghanclean 17
Then it's time to get your baby some more human play dates
blackrose1996 11
Get a picture black mail lmao then show them at his wedding
sierra142 19
Do you even have kids?
Stigmamma 23
My friend's son learnt potty train because he wanted to pee like the dog. He may just be trying to tell you that he's ready. My daughter's best friend when she was a baby was the cat. She learnt to crawl early because she was trying to get at the cat.
ClitasaurusRex 3
There's a saying; "Raised by wolves" ring a bell? Maybe spend more time with your kid.