Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my toddler handed me a present and told me to keep it forever. It was a piece of dog poo. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML
Today, my son drew a picture of me eating. When I demanded to know why he had drawn me eating poop, he starting crying and said, “It was meant to be chocolate!” FML
Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Today, while assisting my 2 year-old with potty training, she stuck her hand in her own poop, and when I wasn't expecting it, put her fingers in my mouth. Ever wondered what a green blowout tastes like? I don't have to. FML
Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML
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Top comments
FluffythePink 23
This is why I would adopt house trained kids.
lexxiasaurus 31
good thing you did the smell test first. she could have played it off and you would have ate shit 🤣🤣
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a... ...shitty situation.
SirEnigM0nk 22
Eww...that sure ain't no milk dud.
spinningrecords 14
…a gift
FluffythePink 23
This is why I would adopt house trained kids.
lexxiasaurus 31
good thing you did the smell test first. she could have played it off and you would have ate shit 🤣🤣