Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, my four year-old daughter asked me what the word “necrophilia” means. I have no idea where she even heard that. FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, I was babysitting a one year-old. She'd just learned how to say yes, so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said, "Yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty. She looked at me and said, "NO." FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
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Top comments
namine120409 42
At least he didn't teach her the big N word.
tukies 28
To be perfectly honest that was where I thought this FML was going. After I finished reading it I just went well it could have been a lot worse.
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Comments (107)
magaliwoodrock 19
My niece had the same problem everything would be no. Lol
Respect101 17
Just wait till they hit the "why" stage.... It's extremely annoying to hear why after everything you say...
fsomelife 26
But why?
fantasyworld 39
I'd repeat why back at her.
mackdeezy 22
There are far worse N words she can learn.
martin8337 36
Much like everyone else, I thought that this FML was going there. Thank goodness it didn't.
demonhunter3220 14
Ha I thought you were going somewhere else with the n words thing XD
JRT98 12
I too would find it amusing if a two year old screamed "NEIN!" at someone...
jerryj 27
You should come visit a German speaking country then for a good chuckle. It is pretty common over here.
JRT98 12
Let me just shit out money first, and all my dreams will come true!
Respect101 17
If you shit money, I'm kidnapping you. Just sayin.
juturnaamo 29
Weird. In 2 years I never saw a German kid be a dick.
MrDonSalvetti 27
Your daughter has a great uncle! Not every 16-years old guy would take care of a two years old child, in his free time.
pwnman 33
I love taking care of my niece! I'd spend my whole day with her! I'm fourteen, and she just loves her uncle (me) and I love my niece!
JazNim17 18
But at least he's taking time with her and teaching her things. What a fun uncle.
ahsanmasood 4
I think your daughter is really lucky to have a 16 year old Uncle who can speak various languages, and is teaching them to your daughter in a fun way. Your brother sounds super awesome. You should let him babysit more often.
Ichiya 29
He taught her the same word in other languages. I doubt he knows any more thst the daughter does. Google "no" in other languages. Sounds like an ass to me.
ShadowlessSpear 21
Like an ass? What did the uncle do wrong?
Ichiya 29
Took something irritating and made it worse.
JAR_2012 5
I'm pretty sure it wasn't THAT irritating, I mean it was funny and in my opinion its kind of cute, but you know thats me.
Sigilwen 24
Could of been worse. Doesn't make him an ass and one day op can teach his kids that.
VynaVail 12
Better than running around yelling ******.
gracehi 33
I have a brand new niece. When she starts talking, I'm going to teach her to say, "I OBJECT!" It'll be awesome.
Ichiya 29
My cousin would say "now is not the time to panic." wait a minute then scream "now is the perfect time to panic ahhhhhhh!" kids can be realy funny.
interesting33 37
Or: " I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request"