Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, yet again, my 3 year-old daughter came home from a few hours with her father, screams and cries over everything, and when she realizes it won't get her anywhere, screams at me that she hates me and that she wants to go home. I calmly told her she is home, and she screamed, "This is not home!" FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML
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Top comments
Bathory_fml 0
Just start screaming "I HAVE NO SON! " at the top of your lungs. That'll shut her up. Probably out of confusion, but still.
dzidziaud 5
Hahaha, that must have been fun. was your visit to the police station pleasant? :]
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Comments (131)
harlehatschi 0
christ, your daughter is a bratty little bitch. if it were my kid she wouldn't be going back to the toystore in a very long time
smartornot 0
This can be interpreted two ways. One, you picked up the wrong girl, or two, she got pissed and said you're not her daddy anymore. I think it's the second. Anyway, the kid's a brat.
xHaniffax 0
She knew what she was doing. She said it on purpose so that she wouldn't have to leave the toystore. She might be a brat but she's a ******* smart one.
EvilAngel 0
LMAO! This comment rox my sox! =)
jellybean93 0
i love working with kids, but when they pull stunts like that i occasionally want to scream and yell at them. ah children.
jz4 0
she pretty smart
passionateplea 0
Hahaha, that's hilarious. You gotta hand it to her, she's smart!
percypigs 0
haha i used to do that (:
djb23 0
if she's his actual daughter then she's smart, if it's his step daughter then she's already a bitch
kukopia 0
OP NEEDs to keep reminding her of this incident. EVERY time she asks him for something for the rest of her life he can just say "According to you, I'm not your daddy, so 'no'."
xoxwhoaxox 0
I thought all little kids did this. I know I did this, quite frequently, when I was two and grocery shopping with my mom. I turned out alright. The kid isn't necessarily gonna start stealing from you and continue denying your existence as they get older, lol. Geez people.