Anonymous
Taiwan
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
McMuffin
Today, my 3-year-old daughter ran with arms wide open towards me, smiling, only to pass me by and hug the gardener instead. FML
angry mama
The Headmaster Ritual
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Andy
Australia
Daddy!
Today, I went to pick up my niece from daycare. As I walked past the gates, a little kid yelled, “Daddy’s here!” and ran to hug me. His actual dad was right behind me, clearly very confused, while the daycare workers glared at me like they were about to call the cops on me. FML
Herdad
United States
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Paladin Rayjack
Makati City, Philippines
Nosy nitwit
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
mommylovesu
United States
The worst
Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there, she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML
tatortot7707
United States
Bad boy
Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML
divorced
United States
Betrayal
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML
Anonymous
Manama, Bahrain
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
notapedobear
Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML
Top comments
DahkLohd 4
Is your face as scary as mine?
perdix 31
They probably taught the kids about pedophiles and your little game is up.
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Comments (66)
eskimomarvin 8
lol that sucks
Marvin_Android 0
Sounds nightmarish. Trying to form a bond with your offspring is pointless anyway. In a few short years, she will want to be off on her own and run away just as fiercely. The fact that she hates and fears you already should make it easier on you in the long-run; no sudden shock when she goes from lovey-dovey to rebellious and hateful. At least now you won't waste your efforts. Too bad you'll still suffer through a miserable existence. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
Jaguars25 4
Oh Marvin. I enjoy reading what you write. it's terrible of me to take pleasure in your woe, but I always look forward to your contributions. (Have you read Warbot in Accounting? Reminds me of you.) Re. FML: Maybe the giant fur coat did the trick? Poor you!
fakeaccountX 6
it's going to be a long 18 years
atlanta_lex 0
I doubt it's THAT serious.
DahkLohd 4
Is your face as scary as mine?
Selena_is_back 7
you're not scary... ;D I find you attractive... Rawr!
DahkLohd 4
Thanks, but I wouldn't want to "Julian Assange" you. Hit me up in a year and a half. :)
Selena_is_back 7
I can wait... *evil laugh*
zazooftanzania 4
haha good one
millionaire93 0
ahaha. that's funny.
cono1717 0
STRANGER DANGER!!
kubleeka 0
mom is a stranger now, is she?
macskapingvin 0
Maybe she can't tell the difference between your 'I'm going to hug you' face and your 'I'm a big scary giant I'm going to chase you' face.
DocBastard 40
Maybe you shouldn't have dressed up like Jason Voorhies, dumbass. You should have learned your lesson from the Halloween Freddy Krueger incident. Some people...
CoolAsian 0
Voorhees dumbass
MEM0817 18
CoolAsian I'm sure you didn't even know the correct spelling until you googled it.
DakotaCat 4
Don't wear a Noseybonk mask if you're gunna pick up your kid from preschool.
perdix 31
They probably taught the kids about pedophiles and your little game is up.
DncrHap 9
stranger danger! pedobear wants you to try harder.
MfailK 0
you are so pretty.
Korro 8
are you sure that was your daughter?
veebs 0
HAHA FUNNY(:
dirtyhose 0
st0p beating you're kid and this w0nt happen duh