Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my new puppy to the dog park, proud of my cute little fluff ball. Instead of behaving nicely like the other dogs present, my dog ignored every toy, treat and friendly dog, and ran straight into a pond. He emerged soaked, covered in mud, and proudly dropped a muddy stick at my feet like it was a trophy. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML
Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML
Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML
Today, my 4-month-old puppy made a break for it as soon as I opened the front door. I had to run after her barefoot, in just my dressing gown. It was raining. I fell over, forgot to break my fall and skidded along the unsurfaced road. She came back on her own while I was was laid on the floor. FML
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Top comments
TrippingOnAcid 29
Oh god that's adorable. Disgusting but so so cute. Especially if you imagine OP's puppy as a little sausage dog
Dave_Davington 35
Wee all have nothing but sympathy for your predicament.
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Comments (107)
shudson186 17
I should not find this cute, but I do. Must be because it's a puppy trying to show other dogs affection and getting scared from it.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
The puppy was actually showing submission by rolling over onto her back. She was saying she's not a threat. But you're basically right, because after that she would've probably tried to play if the big dog had been nice. Lol.
Razi_tail 25
Ehh, everything will wash!
samiann 7
For everyone who says OP needs a leash- sounds like a dog park to Me. They are fenced instead.
dipshitpoopyhead 7
That is actually pretty funny
jh921971 10
Don't let your dog meet other dogs. They will only do one of two things and they both start with F.
kingdomgirl94 29
Socialising dogs is really important to their development. If they can't play nice with other dogs, how can you trust then with children? What if you wanted to get another dog later on but couldn't because you never taught your dog to play nice with others? Never letting your dog near other dogs is stupid and is like never letting your child near other kids because they might fight or bully your child.
QueenofWheels 13
I only count one thing that starts with F
blondeambition1 4
fight or ****
girI 20
Only if they're not castrated, and most dogs these days are. Castration makes them less aggressive as well as sexually inactive.
someguy445 5
Both pissed off and pissed on
scottyspot 11
I don't care who you are, that was funny.
worldclassrager 41
I will never understand dogs Not that I should but that one is out the window for trying to
reno1496 6
LMAO
SkyBlueCloud 21
Your dog was submitting and that dog was like **** yeah I'm the boss then pissed on your dog to prove it's point.