Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Today, my dog and I came in from an afternoon in the back yard and he immediately shat on the carpet. Way to go boy. FML
Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML
Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML
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Top comments
kwilkens 15
Was he a golden retriever? Because you just got a golden shower.
geolocep 6
The dog is showing submission. Means you're the alpha.
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Comments (49)
geolocep 6
The dog is showing submission. Means you're the alpha.
GreatAmerican 7
Actually, it means that your dog is scared/nervous/anxious. Ignore him when you first see him. Also, you need to work on building his confidence. Training helps with that.
GokuSS400 18
Or…the dog really was happy to see him :P
Rawrshi 25
"Alpha" theory was disproven by the same man who invented the concept as the idea came about watching captive packs of wolves with individuals who were from various different locations and would fight. There is no such thing as an "alpha" in a pack of canines - dog or otherwise. Encouraging people to use such terms is very harmful to dogs and can lead to the dog being abused as most methods to "dominate" a dog to get "alpha" status over a dog are very aggressive and cruel. A confident dog isn't trying to be "alpha" and a fearful dog isn't "submitting" to an "alpha."
GGAllin1 8
Lol ur moms an alpha
kwilkens 15
Was he a golden retriever? Because you just got a golden shower.
Red_Ralph 16
LOOKS LIKE HE WAS BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE
evanvoss 20
You didn't even use the phrase correctly
dramaelf 37
WHY ARE WE YELLING
shabadabba 14
EMPHASIS
CheekyRaccoon 27
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. LOUD NOISES
The_Potato_Lord 15
I WAS WOKEN BY THE SOUND OF CAPS LOCK. WHATS GOING ON???
Bunnyluver 20
I still found this funny. Cheesiness and all!
swaglesshipster 23
No loves as good as a dogs love! :D
HrothgarXII 21
Maybe he was just trying to piss you off
WCARlover 35
You are just very a-pee-ling to him
WCARlover 35
Hahah sorry guys, I'm so tired but that's no excuse for that pun
SixthSinEnvy 39
Well in his defense, he doesn't have thumbs to open a champagne bottle so he had to improvise.
IamComrade 16
Piss on him back
Bunnyluver 20
.....I hope ASPCA doesn't need to come visit you
sighlifeman 12
dont they usually pee when they are scared ?
cathrope 10
Not on their back, being on the back is a sign of submission.
DoomedGemini 38
Excitement can also cause them to pee
BubbaYoshi117 11
I don't know why but "pissing like a fountain" has me cracking up.