Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Today, I took my new puppy to the dog park, proud of my cute little fluff ball. Instead of behaving nicely like the other dogs present, my dog ignored every toy, treat and friendly dog, and ran straight into a pond. He emerged soaked, covered in mud, and proudly dropped a muddy stick at my feet like it was a trophy. FML
Today, I made sure my puppy went number 1 and 2 before taking them into a pet-friendly store. In the store, two ladies awed at my puppy, but as I picked him up I didn't notice he'd shat on the floor until they pointed it out, giving me a dirty look. Other customers glared as I picked up his smeared shit. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a cute guy jogging towards me. I tried to look cool and gave him a smile. At that exact moment, my dog stopped to poop directly on my shoe. The guy jogged past without breaking stride and muttered, “Perfect timing.” FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML
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Top comments
save_me_08 0
"...and that's how I met your mother."
Pink_n_Twizted 0
F your life??? F her life!! Bet she'd change places with you in a heart beat
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Comments (95)
Pink_n_Twizted 0
F your life??? F her life!! Bet she'd change places with you in a heart beat
doritoninja 4
cockblocked by a puppy! rofl!
shaubygal 11
#84 HELLLLLL YEAAHHHHH
O_fml 0
i'm guessing she didn't call?
save_me_08 0
"...and that's how I met your mother."
b182link 0
hahahaha
boredndstoned 0
thats just his jealousy don't mess with his territory
screwloose 0
If she calls, marry her. Any woman willing to wipe your dog's poo off her feet and still be interested is willing to put up with any shit you could possibly throw at her.
letschat6 5
literally :D
TeenTiger 0
Yea I doubt she is going to call you any time soon. FHL not FYL.
VerticalOrbit 0
Uh oh. Keep an eye on the dog the next time.
Savvy89 0
She took out her phone Simply because she wanted to hang out with your puppy and not you, you should have known this when you took your puppy to meet girls. points to the puppy for cockblockin future calls from her will be to hang out with sparky FYL
MEGAJOSH 0
You should have defecated on her feet right after. This way, she would have forgotten about your dog and would have been mad at you instead.
Ryan_Jaxson 8
That's just as stupid ad your name.
piderman13 0
That's embarrassing! haha F*bothyour*Ls