Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that, after a year of separation, my ex-wife is pregnant and due in a few months. The divorce became official a few weeks ago and the father is my former best friend. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML
Today, I found out my ex-wife (who I have kids with) is now pregnant with another guy's twin babies. We have only been divorced a couple of months. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
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Top comments
JHPugh 19
Yet her side is probably the one everyone will believe... Such a shame
Wizardo 34
Request a paternity test and oust her, heartless liars don't deserve any leeway.
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Comments (98)
D4GA 0
I highly recommend you try to make up with her long enough to get her to admit she was lying about the abuse while being recorded. Even a false accusation can make it difficult to find employment, and if the child is yours, it could be used to prevent you from ever seeing the baby. Get evidence now
Fett143 3
I feel for you my ex made the same accusations during our divorce.She decided she liked playing for the other team and wasn't ready to come out. I wish people wouldn't do this because it is not good for the men and women who experience real abuse.
BeenIt 5
Dayuuuuum! Why did you marry that broad in the first place? She seems like such a bitch SMH.
Morning_fml 22
They say women are more victimized, but they're probably going to believe her full-blown bullshit story and refuse to even listen to you. Feel sorry for you, man, and at this point I think a divorce would be best. Lying only leads to inevitable destruction.
sydney141 8
that's just ****** up
bs0092 12
Put it on Facebook and ask for the paternity test.. Everyone will be dying to know who is the lier like a reality TV show.. Plus leave her anyway.. She admitted to cheated and tried to discredit you.. She dosen't sound like she really cares for you in the first place..
ammacias13 9
maybe she wanted the child ask to herself without you having any rights. I tried to tell my husband that, but I can't lie soooooooo...
Dominus101 20
You dodged a bullet, Remember when Kanye said & on his 18th Birthday he found out it wasn't his, well that Definitely will NOT be you OP
General_Cool 24
Sue for slander. She has no physical marks of abuse so you will win
Ihate_myself 2
That victim sh@t women pimp all the time. Good luck with your divorce. I accepted my ex wife back and this dirty ***** had 2 children wit this son of a b@tch!