Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that, after a year of separation, my ex-wife is pregnant and due in a few months. The divorce became official a few weeks ago and the father is my former best friend. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML
Today, I found out my ex-wife (who I have kids with) is now pregnant with another guy's twin babies. We have only been divorced a couple of months. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JHPugh 19
Yet her side is probably the one everyone will believe... Such a shame
Wizardo 34
Request a paternity test and oust her, heartless liars don't deserve any leeway.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
XxDanno316xX 27
From my heart to yours OP, I'm truly sorry you have to deal with both situations. No one should feel what you must feel. FML Community give OP love!
angel79_fml 5
Or better yet tell everyone your not going to sink to her level and tell lies. Don't sign birth certificate until paternity test otherwise you'll be responsible for the child for 18 years. I hate skanks like her they give every other female a bad name.
worldclassrager 41
Where are her scars to show for it? They don't exist...
tehdarkness 21
Did you fly off the handle upon hearing that news and do something that could be interpreted as physical abuse?
9Ja4cOb 14
I wish I could hit the "I agree your life sucks" button more
LastResort318 14
You are lucky if her male friends don't come and beat you up and her female don't destroy your name. The world we live in is quickly becoming guilty until proven innocent so you might want to be careful.
briangarnadi 19
You deserve it. In a good way :)
rgetting 24
My x was a marriage counselor and talked on a radio show. I listened one day after being told she was saying she had been in a physically abuse relationship. I confronted her on her lies and she said it gave her "street creds" and she had to tell people something about why she left me. I don't know why the truth that she was ******* a church deacon wouldn't have worked. I feel your pain. Life is not fair.
melanielovejeff 15
Both stories could be true considering people only say what makes them look good. I'm sorry that your marriage is ending in divorce despite who's right and who's wrong.
laden_swallow09 35
Follow up, please!!