Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that, after a year of separation, my ex-wife is pregnant and due in a few months. The divorce became official a few weeks ago and the father is my former best friend. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML
Today, I found out my ex-wife (who I have kids with) is now pregnant with another guy's twin babies. We have only been divorced a couple of months. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
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Top comments
JHPugh 19
Yet her side is probably the one everyone will believe... Such a shame
Wizardo 34
Request a paternity test and oust her, heartless liars don't deserve any leeway.
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Comments (98)
beeferjay 34
beat your self up and tell your friends that you are the victim
Tripartita 45
And after that, the OP can hang out with their alternate self and make soap!
beeferjay 34
art imitating life imitating art
Lars93 18
gut punch her for cheating.
XxDanno316xX 27
You didn't just suggest gut punching a pregnant woman, harm the child to punish the mother. Shame on you. Not even close to funny.
drizzell43 7
Not even close dude
jack67_fml 14
Not a joke and who said anything about gut punching, a broken nose works fine loo
GhostFox 34
14 said, specifically to "gut punch" the woman. So it was brought up. Also, pain from a broken nose could trigger an early labor, which is unfair to the child. Also, injuring her could simply paint her as the one telling the truth.
Talis99 26
#14- God save any woman (or man) who dates you. #55- Learn to pay attention to what you read.
Witchylady 18
Oh that's terrible. So sorry your wife is a *****.
ellabellaboom 24
Wow this actually pissed me off. Because cheating on you wasn't enough for this woman. She had to throw in a lie to spin the fault on you, smh. FYL indeed...
fariss 14
Tell her family shes physically cheap
olpally 33
GET HER!!! Prove to everyone she's a lying cheating bitch!
itsjustemcee 18
This really sucks to hear OP! Hopefully your friends and family will trust your words over hers. At least now you don't have to deal with her bs anymore! :/
MrZsDad 19
Can not really say they are her close friends if they didnt know she was banging someone else. Chin up, half of them probably hate her and know the truth.
writergirl1029 17
Terrible people like your wife are the reason why legitimate victims of abuse are accused of lying.
nyf137 20
Exactly what I was thinking.
Daevahd 6
Really? In my experience, the woman is usually believed more often than the man...
guii_fml 24
Unless you are out in public and someone has evidence of you committing the act or if you are in your house and someone takes pictures (and the pictures will be discarded if they took pictures outside your home if you didnt allow that person to be there because in your home its assumed as a private area unless you invited them in your home thats a different story) but her saying that in court wont go far because thats hear say and cant be proven as well as disproven.