Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, I was hosting a small party for my nephews and a couple neighborhood kids. I unexpectedly started my period while I was serving the snacks. Have you ever been pointed and laughed at by a bunch of 12 year-olds? Ah, just like the good old days… FML
Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me, so when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML
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Top comments
STVader 0
what? you could get an erection at 7? ...that's not embarrassing dude that's awesome.
girandwogpig 0
Wow....I'm so sorry.
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Comments (97)
girandwogpig 0
Wow....I'm so sorry.
jessiana7 0
Haha! Can't you get in trouble for having crap like that on video? #2 musta not had sex ed yet. #57 is funny!
goingdown_fml 0
haha doing what
Onlynamethatwasn 0
My mom had a video of me and another of my sis doing something like that on cd. She only deleted my sister's.
STVader 0
what? you could get an erection at 7? ...that's not embarrassing dude that's awesome.
skullbuster 0
Infants get erections.. he isn't going to be getting a line in the Guinness book for that one!! OP: That's the whole point of family movies, humiliation!
zerkabaius 0
babies can get erections. Were you unable to get an erection until you hit puberty? Because that would be abnormal
UncleverName_FYL 0
#2 you must be a girl, .... if not then fyl man
genius_man16 1
You can totally get erections that young. The deal is that when you are that young you don't understand what's happening so you don't really think about it. Hence why most people don't remember getting them that young. Unless they have embarrassing family video tapes :P
RPGod 0
Fetuses get erections dude, they touch themselves in the womb. OP: LMAO xD
SaintJimmy 0
You get erections in infancy. You don't produce semen until puberty.
himynameisadam 0
yea, that isn't kicking you feel.... X[)
020266t 5
yeah erections at 7 are awesome
esines 9
That's ****** up. Who makes. Video OD their child touching their self?
f_u_z_z_y 0
haaa
RJB 0
So ur family has child ****? Theres a big market for that. lol FYL though
AnaMaree 0
lawl. I bet you Chris Hansen came into the house out of nowhere saying, "Have a seat."
Zcross94 0
haha
mobius8 0
Take legal action. Some mothers were arrested recently for videoing their kids having a pillow fight in their underwear and putting it on their blogs, so I think you'd have a good case.
mobius8 0
Well yeah. Maybe they really hate their family.
Vermelle 0
That wouldn't apply in this case, sorry. There's a difference between viewing home videos in the privacy of your own home with family or friends and posting them on the internet where anyone can see them.
mobius8 0
I think the main difference is that they were aware of the video because it was on the internet actually. I think you could get into just as much trouble for having the video if someone brought attention to it.
TheLoneWolf87 4
Mobius cut the crap you troll and go spew your hatred somewhere else.
12frisbees 0
Win, TheLoneWolf87 :)
trivel64 16
I don't think it matters who sees it. If you own child **** you're already in trouble.
MastaHorse 0
wow so all your family friends got to see you touching yourself lol
Stunt_fml 5
Kids say the darndest thing.
aback 5
Tell your mom you saw one of her friends touching himself to that video.
lame16 0
LMFAO. that'd be epic.
2O12 6
"Himself." Lol.
666midnight 0
Haha epic fail XD YDI tho for letting your friends get hold of your childhood videos, they're always embarrasing dude :P
ISellHerbs 0
His MOTHER showed the tapes without him knowing. It's not he knew the content of the videos.
BLNovelist 0
I would seriously have a serious sitdown with your mother. There is showing embarrassing videos (IE taking a bath, falling off the bike, gushing about wanting to marry you cousin...ahem.) but then there is that - something that is obviously going beyond embarrassing into inappropriate. Why would she video tape that anyway?