Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML
Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML
Today, my idiot son has been getting his ass kicked nearly every day since he spread a rumor that he’d been sleeping with the most popular girl in school. Not only is she the wrestling coach’s daughter, her brothers are all massive jocks. Even though he apologized the beatings keep coming. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
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Top comments
metallica_wins 20
You should be proud, at least he's emotionally intelligent.
DarkSmoke591 21
Duck faces aren't even cute
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Comments (221)
NightwingsEcho 6
He deserves a medal
Logan_A_Caruso 16
He was just joking around those girls took it to far
cryssycakesx3 23
while hilarious, it's never OK to have things thrown at you.
karystaal 12
bread is soft, I dont think that it would have hurt them in any way. I dont think its ever okay to beat someone at all, let alone to the point where they need medical attention.
Axel5238 29
If it was one of his friends he did it to that'd be one thing, but he did it to some random person in the bar and they were all probably drinking if not drunk. Whether or not someone would take it from some random weirdo in good humor is a big what if. One big thing with comedy is knowing your audience. Funny as it may have been, harmless yes, but It had bad idea written all over it.
karystaal 12
I would assume that anyone taking photos with the "duck face" would have a sense of humour. I wouldn't say that the duck face is used in all serious photos, more so for the silly photos. Either way, fair enough if the boyfriends deemed it appropriate to have a word to this guy, but to get together to beat up one guy... for some reason I feel as if thats crossing a line.
Logan_A_Caruso 16
I meant the boys took it to far
rocker_chick105 31
I'd be okay with paper bills thrown at me but maybe I'm just a different kind of person
englacobain 14
The original duck faces isn't ment to be silly. Some people still do it, and look redicilous.
EdenCrystal 21
Actually, their boyfriends were the ones who took it too far, according to the FML
rachangie 19
That is the best thing I've ever heard! They should really have a better sense of humor about things, especially if they're going to make duck faces in public!
thatnucca 36
Hey... It was only right that he gave the ducks some bread...
Merylwen 24
Your son is hilarious. Be proud.
RusticChick 27
I don't see what he did wrong...
Axel5238 29
This is why you don't try stuff you see on the internet. I'm sure his friends convinced him it'd be funny and worth trying. Duck faces aren't cute, but your son deserved it. Sorry he can't separate what is funny online and why it doesn't carry over into real life. Hope it'll teach him a lesson.
DaytimeAura 1
Are you kidding? that would be amazingly funny in real life.
polarbearpiss 15
omfg best idea ever!!!
rocker_chick23 27
I would have been proud of my son if he did that and if I was one of the girls, I would laughed.
tbone2018 6
Kid's a genius