Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML
Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML
Today, my idiot son has been getting his ass kicked nearly every day since he spread a rumor that he’d been sleeping with the most popular girl in school. Not only is she the wrestling coach’s daughter, her brothers are all massive jocks. Even though he apologized the beatings keep coming. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
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Top comments
metallica_wins 20
You should be proud, at least he's emotionally intelligent.
DarkSmoke591 21
Duck faces aren't even cute
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Comments (221)
RaySimon 7
Your son is a legend!! =D
Honema 16
I deeply respect your son.
dying_to_know 25
Legendary XD
alegonzalez 7
your son is a genius.
more4me 27
Your son has a great sense of humor ! Maybe he needs to learn how ro run faster , though. Those boys who beat him up are assholes who need their ass kicked.
slowlybreakingme 14
Who brings bread to a club?
LennyComa 39
Take that Boy out for some Beer's and Wings, He is an awesome fellow.
dammityou 10
please give your son our thanks, someone had to do it, and your son had the balls.
yoshiyakiryu 20
I actually think what your son did was deeply unpleasant and while he didn't deserve to get beaten up, he's not exactly great for doing what he did. Let the girls do whatever they want.
Axel5238 29
If it was friends that'd be one thing. Your son is an idiot, trying stuff out you see on the internet particularly when it comes to "pranks" is a bad idea especially with people you don't know. A prank is putting someone in a situation that should not be or believing something that shouldn't be. Cling film on the toilet or door frame, short sheeting the bed. It is not just running up to random people and throwing shit.
Headcrab 29
What a legend. LMAO!