Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML
Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML
Today, my idiot son has been getting his ass kicked nearly every day since he spread a rumor that he’d been sleeping with the most popular girl in school. Not only is she the wrestling coach’s daughter, her brothers are all massive jocks. Even though he apologized the beatings keep coming. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
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Top comments
metallica_wins 20
You should be proud, at least he's emotionally intelligent.
DarkSmoke591 21
Duck faces aren't even cute
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Comments (221)
Zombinosh77 11
That was kinda funny though!
talicaroxi 25
haha I think he needs an award :D
laaddeeddaahhh 4
I would be proud if my son had done the same thing.
pearl_bridgman 8
Yout son is a legend!!! Be proud!
Trolloled 16
Frankly, I'd be proud. Duckface bitches are retarded and should be treated as such.
mattynick 11
That's awesome, not the beating of course.
KatHelm 17
He's your son lol
steam_engenius 21
I think that's a hilarious idea, but it's also still harassment, regardless of the level of the girls' ridiculous vanity.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Throwing bread and idiots making duck faces is a far cry from throwing punches for any reason. How old is your son, OP? And how old were the guys that punched him? There could be some legalities here that need to be looked into. And whoever invented the duck face should be swimming with the fishes.
KatyLarae 13
I'd honestly think that was hilarious. People these days are such babies