Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
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Top comments
jjames7543 13
At least Dad was being honest
Savra_fml 17
OPs Kid: "So, where do you come from Raul?" Raul: "From Madrid in Spain. How about you?" OPs Kid: "From my daddys penis"
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Comments (184)
liamsd 0
Your husband should know that by treating your son, don't tell him anything that will make him say it again and will get him in big trouble!
LennyComa 39
Awesome
KVKdragon 26
You should really revise that answer after your son said what he said. Instead say God gave the babies their souls but their bodies came from their moms. That way he doesn't have any conflicting answers :) (this comment is not an invitation for a theological argument, I have my Christian beliefs and you have your own beliefs)
greg84_fml 21
Yes, but our beliefs are right and yours are wrong. Religion makes me sick.
boopityboppity 11
Goodness me, how uncalled for was that attack, 126?
cmtexx03 0
Classy
Smidget1 0
Or u could just not lie to him about children coming from an invisible sky wizard...
SirEBC 7
Yeah. How ingnorant. -_-
deviable 9
You just made god sound awesome.
daisyismydog 3
Or you could not comment because you're not funny..
maryam8869 7
hahahaha men ,,,
Jasonf6 0
ROFLMAO
Okayitwasme 0
Looks like you have your hands full cuz every time he thinks your doing it, he's gonna wonder where the baby is? Then think dads wrong when no baby comes out right away lol.
bigkountry209 0
keepn it real
Strafeh 9
YDI for climbing that tree