Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
captain_crook 17
someone who likes succulent chicken? :P
rxsey16 16
So you're the dad I'm assuming? Better go talk to your wife.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (73)
Destinee_1 13
Kids these days...
daisylokes 16
ya blame his mom, no mother should be saying words like that around the kids, kids brains are like sponges, they soak up everything.
friedpwnadge 25
Kids say the darndest things.
ZombieVampirez 24
Yes #9. When I was a nanny the oldest at the time was 4 and he told me to **** off when I asked him to sit and eat. Damn children learning young
redstone7693 29
Its not the kids fault if he heard it from someone else....
captain_crook 17
someone who likes succulent chicken? :P
katydid91 31
I see what you did there.
Xela77 10
I could just imagine a little boy walking around saying he's a huge **** sucker...
vikky538 29
No better explanation i could find to give it to a kid. Up Vote for you
exitium16 26
someone has some explaining to do?
jmigs17 19
Splainin to do.*
RedPillSucks 33
Lucy!!! you go some 'splainin to do!!!
rxsey16 16
So you're the dad I'm assuming? Better go talk to your wife.
Farmillionaire 8
Hence the male symbol....
ajeppsen 25
This sounds more like a divorce situation.
RayneSmytson 24
The parents are probably divorced/separated... Rather common these days.
RedPillSucks 33
not sure why the thumbs down on #33. he's just saying they may already be separated, hence the negative vibes from mom.
doodlecloud 27
I'm pretty sure if they were married OP would've said his wife rather than the child's mum. Sounds like a classic case of divorced/separated parents dragging the kids down by undermining the other parent and effectively using the kid as a weapon, which is pathetic. You don't have to like the other parent but you have to stay civil for the kids. I hope this is the worst the mum has said...
ZhippyDavid 8
Should've just replied. "Son, a cocksucker is what your mom has been doing since we have been married." Then just keep walking and have a talk with your wife later in the day so she becomes the cocksucker
Blue_Black_fml 21
Except if the wife calls her husband "cocksucker", I don't think she does much of the activity suggested by this term herself, as she doesn't seem to be treating her husband all that well.
Bragi 12
@5: Word choices indicate divorce or separation.
Merylwen 24
The only woman I know who calls her ex-husband a "cocksucker" in front of her kids does it because he left her for a man, and she's (understandably?) bitter about it. Plus *technically* she's not wrong, even though it's not a nice thing to say.
KitchenPig 16
It's a term of endearment, son.
TripleATeam 13
Mommy, you're a cocksucker!
BoeingAirbus 4
Well they say you are what you speak.
Hildy93 21
It's you are what you eat....
RedPillSucks 33
woosh!!!
91hayek 31
As a kid I asked my older sister what ******** was. She said it was a measure of ten years. I found out later in school that she was almost correct. Don't know how you could rework cocksucker though to something more innocuous.
nhbasskid13 23
what the **** sounds like cocksucker that means 10 years?
missambitious 21
It sort of sounds like 'decade', especially depending on your accent.
BitchBeCray 12
Wow.
WaltzingPhantom 5
Isn't it the other way around?