Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
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Top comments
jjames7543 13
At least Dad was being honest
Savra_fml 17
OPs Kid: "So, where do you come from Raul?" Raul: "From Madrid in Spain. How about you?" OPs Kid: "From my daddys penis"
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Comments (184)
chels1994 11
Well, he's gonna find out eventually
gracebbroo 5
Well Daddy seems like a top bloke (y)
nerdsgetmehot 23
He's going to have to find out sooner or later. How old is he? There's no use lying to him now that he knows the truth.
misterjez 15
You're cute :-)
efemel94 7
"When a mummy and a daddy love each very very much, they make a wish to the big man in the sky and close their eyes, and that son, is where babies come from. Lol jk you were a mistake from my stag do you little shit"
fmlismynewspaper 7
Pretty funny but really, from *******? Couldn't have said anything more modest
Vaginabutter 15
WIN
hateevryone 15
you need to slap "daddy" for saying it like that. he couldn't say making love or sex or intercourse?
lionlvr 9
Awesome dad.
whited666 0
Your husband is a good man! He doesn't lie!!
hate_to_love_him 1
OPs kis: "Daddy... whats *******?" next step: daddy shows kud **** :)
burtonbullet 10
New FML: Today, my husband showed my child pornography. Now I can't get him off the computer. FML. Just wait for it...