Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
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Top comments
jjames7543 13
At least Dad was being honest
Savra_fml 17
OPs Kid: "So, where do you come from Raul?" Raul: "From Madrid in Spain. How about you?" OPs Kid: "From my daddys penis"
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Comments (184)
EmreArslan 11
I think ur child just double checked, thats what i used to do. Like ask my mun for something and id she says no go to dad and if he says yes... Just '*******' do it! :p
SrakaSrakasta 20
What the hell is your problem people? Thumbs down for a completly honest and true comment? Religious nuts
wegetrz 14
The problem is that the dad could have easily said from your mom's ****** and it wouldn't have been inappropriate seeing as preschools tell kids what their privates are actually called now.
gatorman562 2
That is what's wrong with kids parents lying to them god don't give u kids u make them but keep lying to your kids
raney150 0
Why is this thumbed down?
HatefulPilot 0
Why not?
PElexander 5
Gator I made sure to thumb up this shit. Completely agree.
Skater5679 4
Honest dad is honest.
rattusrattus 19
Probably could have put it in a more genteel fashion. Depending on the age of the son, intercourse or physical intimacy would have done the trick.
drawmesunshine 17
I can't speak for other kids, but "intercourse" or "physical intimacy" wouldn't have fit the bill for me. "Daddy, where do babiea come from?" "Well, sweetie, they are a byprouduct of a consensual act of physical intimacy between a man and a woman, though only with a specific organ through a specific orifice." "Ok, Daddy." Nah, the conversatiom wouldn't have ended there.
aFreedom127 9
He's right.
leadman1989 16
*stork flys in Lady - where's the baby? Stork - Lady you and I are gonna make the baby. Family guy
EnEl_Infierno 15
Looks like dad *puts on sunglasses* is not gonna be ******* for awhile.
perdix 31
If Daddy's ******* is good, then Mommy will be calling on God and Jesus, but also saying "Oh, shit." Babymaking is a paradoxical craft.
FMLandurstoo 9
People need intelligence to understand your comments perdix
clsgators 5
Daddy takes pride in his work
Feklfekl2222 32
I love your picture, top gear is hilarious
Feklfekl2222 32
I like your pic, top hear is hilarious.
mrszane93 5
This made me lol. I have never heard a first time answer as simple and vulgar as this one.
thew_fml 14
FYL for lying to your son. Kudos to dad