Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML
Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML
Today, I finally gave in and agreed to try holding my girlfriend's pet tarantula. The moment I did, it bit me. According to her she’s had him 4 years and he’s never so much as nipped her, never mind a full bite. Lucky me. My hand is twice the normal size and I can feel my heartbeat in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend, KNOWING I have severe arachnophobia, changed the wallpapers on my phone and tablet to pictures of tarantulas, all because she's mad at me. And she won't change it back. FML
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Top comments
KomiExplosion 0
This is why we can't have nice things.
whatfml 0
you sound an annoying, drama feeding, self loving teen. just saying "omg I would totally stand on it with like my platforms"
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Comments (336)
lorrissa 0
tarantulas DONT cost that much lol I used to have one :p
Levvy 22
"Today, my impulse control in light of my own personal problems was so poor I killed someone else's pet. I expect sympathy for this." There, tidied that up a bit.
varkey 7
most arachnophobes would simply run away, not kill it but if it was in a terrarium, then why would you kill it if he put it on you, then you shouldn't repay him i doubt 500 bucks is how much it cost though FYL and YDI, not enough info
Frenchface 0
lol!! haha that's funny for little fellow
TomFeltonFan 0
you're face is a joke, it makes me laugh everytime I see it.
sk3l370n 0
use the book on him, might be cheaper?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Joke's on you, bub. Your* is the version you're looking for.
bassdredd 2
why the hell did you kill it? you could have just run away. the guys a douche for showing it to you but YDI for overreacting. pay up and try to control yourself next time. it's an important quality.
TomFeltonFan 0
gtfo outta here! NAWH! my iPod auto corrects me, please leave, this was between me and her. moron. :)
TomFeltonFan 0
I choose not too(: and thank you for bringing me laughter when I see your face, just wish your mom would do the same.