Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML
Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML
Today, I finally gave in and agreed to try holding my girlfriend's pet tarantula. The moment I did, it bit me. According to her she’s had him 4 years and he’s never so much as nipped her, never mind a full bite. Lucky me. My hand is twice the normal size and I can feel my heartbeat in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend, KNOWING I have severe arachnophobia, changed the wallpapers on my phone and tablet to pictures of tarantulas, all because she's mad at me. And she won't change it back. FML
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Top comments
KomiExplosion 0
This is why we can't have nice things.
whatfml 0
you sound an annoying, drama feeding, self loving teen. just saying "omg I would totally stand on it with like my platforms"
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Comments (336)
hobofoshoyo 0
Damn nature, you scary!
portablecupid 3
Wow, what an asshole. You couldn't have just left the room? I woulda punched you out if you'd killed my pet lizard.
bloopster 2
YDI. If you were afraid of dogs, and your roommate showed you his new puppy, would you then proceed to kill it with a book? Or his kitten, if you were afraid of cats? I mean come on, even if you were afraid of an animal/arachnid/whatever else people keep as pets, you should never go and kill them just because you're afraid! Next time, just run away and tell your roommate to keep his tarantulas well away from you.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Tom, just shut up. Honestly, you've made a fool of yourself so many times on this page alone... just stop. Anyway, I know how to use an iPhone, and I know that when you're texting (or posting a response) most of the time if the phone corrects the word it will show you the options first. It may automatically change "you're" to "your" or vice versa if you use one version all the time, which still makes you wrong. Kind of also makes you more of a moron than you originally were, doesn't it?
TomFeltonFan 0
I thought I said "goodbye" do you not know how to read? FYI before you starts pouting out nonsense, I accidently pressed e after your so it autocorrected it to you're. once I pressed space, it automatically replaced my mistake "youre" with "you're". make sense? MORON. (:
TymePickles 0
super glue
TomFeltonFan 0
**spouting, not pouting.
5t3ff1k4h 47
If you saw the mistake you were completely able to correct it. You're the idiot. Also, if you really meant your 'goodbye' you wouldn't have responded.
bubbalax9 9
What 258 said. Dont be stupid, just walk away from it dumbass. Dont kill the goddamn thing, its your own fault you owe him 500 bucks. Your actions have consequences
lovelaughing101 1
that must have been the most disgusting pile of guts and the grossest splat ever seen/heard...