Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my idiot roommate read somewhere that bacon grease could be used on squeaky doors and windows. Now, we're desperately trying to scrub the rancid goop out of door hinges and window tracks. Our whole place smells like rotten pig ass and death. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
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Top comments
plutosaplanet 0
oh pick me pick me!! you were standing in line at the grocery store?!?!
pinkdancer 0
Nooooooooo! Lmfao! He only threw out the grease. Duh! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Man I swear ppl's dumb comments are the only thing funny about this website.
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Comments (109)
Jadian 4
Oh no, not a cliffhanger... please don't make me guess! >.
i_stay_anonymous 0
This is fake! No one makes bacon and then decides to just throw it out the freakin' window! "Oh, I'm done making bacons, hmm... I'm a bit lazy to wash it so... I'm gonna going to throw it out the window! :D" Idiot. Well, unless you mean throwing out the grease itself then fml but if you're talking about the pan then... Fake.
RandomFool 5
"Panfull" not Pan full.
Edumacated 0
I just love how there are always people who will mark an fml as "you deserved it", even when there isn't even a vaguely foreseeable justification for such a claim. I swear, someone could post "Today, a meteor destroyed my house and killed my family", and you'd still get at least some "you totally deserved it" flags, lol.
sababa1 0
I agree. It sucks. Every time i read, i look for the one with the most unanimous votes. None ever have less than 100 "you deserved it" unless its new
sababa1 0
FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE This is completely fake. First, ur roommate would have looked first, if their not a retard. Second, ur roommate must be a retard to throw grease out a second story window. Third, the probability of u standing there is (number of students at dorm/number of students per room) X (area[square feet] of the dorm, including inside, outside, and all stories). Finally, if you had burning oil poured on you "Today," you would not be in the condition to type an FML about it. Don't create fake FMLs. It's not cool. FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Aww, I like you! You put your post in a nice little box of FAKE. You're funny. :] Oh, wait, you weren't kidding? ...well, damn. There's so much wrong with your post, but I'm going to assume that you're trolling and doing this on purpose. In case you're not, though, you should know that stories here automatically start with "Today." This could have happened years ago.
sababa1 0
Thats demented. U should be able to get a time scale on when it happened! And thats the only thing wrong. The probability is right, and so is the other stuff
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Yeah, more accurate times would probably be nice. Well, putting the unnecessary lines of FAKE aside, there are still a few things kinda wrong. You pretty much contradicted yourself with your first two reasons. The probability thing might be right (I can't say for sure, I hate math), but what does it have to do with anything? You just kind of threw it in there... it doesn't really prove your point.
sababa1 0
Say theres a thousand kids in the dorm. There are 2 two a room. The dorm is 50thousand square feet. 1 in 25000000 chance that that person is standing there. If there are 4 in a room. Still, 1 in 12500000 that that person is standing there. Understand now???
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Well, there's a one there. It had to happen to someone. I guess the OP was just that someone. Those are slim odds, yeah, but your own reasoning just proved that it's not impossible.
livelyx 0
Shouldn't have been standing there.
sababa1 0
ITS FAKE!
sababa1 0
Not impossible, but its like winning the lotto. Have u ever won? or even a friend. or a friends friend???
Tequilamockngbrd 7
I haven't, but SOMEONE has. Why is it so hard to believe that the one, rare person happens to post on FML?
sababa1 0
its not. Whats rare is that the person is the grease-throwers roommate.
Tequilamockngbrd 7
All right. Clearly, you'll accuse this of being fake no matter what I say, so by all means, keep thinking that way. :] It doesn't make the FML less funny and it won't be taken down any time soon.
sababa1 0
Also, about the win-lotto thing. its often not won, in this analogy meaning that there is a high probability that no one would have been there.
Tequilamockngbrd 7
'Kay, so we'll say that this is fake. It made me laugh. It made other people laugh. In the end, it served the purpose that it was supposed to serve. Kudos to this faker for being creative. Why are you so determined to take that away?
sababa1 0
Now u get it???
sababa1 0
Look at the odds. I know ur not a mathmatician, and im not even technically old enough to be on this site. But look at the odds. It is one step under inpossible.
sababa1 0
If u read it and automatically know its fake, its not funny. take away the fake ones, leaving more room for the real ones(cause only a few that are submitted make it) and the people who actually have brains on this sight can have fun.
vynns 0
Hurrah you spotted a fake! ZOMG ONE INTERNETS FOR YOU. Now move on with this thing called life.
Karraxo 0
"people who actually have brains on this sight can have fun." you would know its a webSITE.
sababa1 0
wtf? its called a typo!
I_GET_ASS 0
where?