Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML
Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
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Top comments
tiptoppc 21
Cook the cat. He’s even marinating himself! How could you not?!?!?
IHaveThePower 18
LOL. Dwight, RIP, used to come up to us whenever we had barbecue and make big, pathetic eyes and meow to try and convince us to share morsels. He usually got told that we kept him around to eat mice, not barbecue. He did have a right to a share of toona whenever that got broken out, though. His little brother Luna has inherited all toona rights and responsibilities of the household, but has much less interest in that weird hooman meat. Might be why he catches more mice than Dwight did...
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Comments (4)
tiptoppc 21
Cook the cat. He’s even marinating himself! How could you not?!?!?
IHaveThePower 18
LOL. Dwight, RIP, used to come up to us whenever we had barbecue and make big, pathetic eyes and meow to try and convince us to share morsels. He usually got told that we kept him around to eat mice, not barbecue. He did have a right to a share of toona whenever that got broken out, though. His little brother Luna has inherited all toona rights and responsibilities of the household, but has much less interest in that weird hooman meat. Might be why he catches more mice than Dwight did...
Chazzster 32
Cats and dogs are not people. They are attracted by food and don’t care whose it is. Cats can jump to the counter… You know you live with at cat (yours or not). Don’t leave food out even for a minute unwatched. You could have put the food in the microwave or a covered container for safekeeping. It’s annoying, but you are the responsible party.
idragosani 17
Who didn't see that coming?