Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my idiot roommate read somewhere that bacon grease could be used on squeaky doors and windows. Now, we're desperately trying to scrub the rancid goop out of door hinges and window tracks. Our whole place smells like rotten pig ass and death. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
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Top comments
plutosaplanet 0
oh pick me pick me!! you were standing in line at the grocery store?!?!
pinkdancer 0
Nooooooooo! Lmfao! He only threw out the grease. Duh! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Man I swear ppl's dumb comments are the only thing funny about this website.
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Comments (109)
omgzdude 0
idiot. has he ever heard of this great invention called the sink?
Bucinka 5
To be fair, some people don't like to pour hot grease down the sink because that is a major contributor to clogs, possibly necessitating a plumber call (probably a $115 minimum where he lives; I'm guessing they're UVa or VaTech students renting somewhere) and also it will melt the flaps on the garbage disposal; I've done that. That said, if he didn't want to pour it down the sink, he should have poured it into an old container such as a glass jar. I know people who save up grease that way and then throw away the jar (or use it later for cooking, which I think is eew but they do do it). I still stand by my original assertion that the bacon cooker is a primetime douche.
bree_91 0
umm #1 I dont think he chucked the whole pan. just the contents
linzercookies 0
Oh, the horrors of defenestration.
ceinaworus 0
hmmm, some of these fmls seem like lies... if you got hot grease dumped on your dome you would have like 3rd degree burns and the last thing you would do is tell people on here.
dubbadee123 5
I think that is illegal he could seriously hurt someone call the cops or get him to pay medical bills
22cute 17
Mmmm...bacon!
lans4 1
On the roof?
343guiltyspark_fml 11
I bet you smell delicious.
gablucas 12
At least he cleans up his mess, watch where you stand next time!!
Ethann44 14
....?? Don't leave us in suspense like this, asshole;)