Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my idiot roommate read somewhere that bacon grease could be used on squeaky doors and windows. Now, we're desperately trying to scrub the rancid goop out of door hinges and window tracks. Our whole place smells like rotten pig ass and death. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
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Top comments
plutosaplanet 0
oh pick me pick me!! you were standing in line at the grocery store?!?!
pinkdancer 0
Nooooooooo! Lmfao! He only threw out the grease. Duh! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Man I swear ppl's dumb comments are the only thing funny about this website.
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Comments (109)
bubblylovr 0
where were you???
aznboytellem 0
Were you showering that time?
blastvortex 4
I find it hard to believe that there are people that retarded who aren't actually disabled. Of course, I've met a few real "winners" in my time, but this damn near takes the cake.
Jimboom 12
At least you smell like yummy yummy bacon now. There are a lot of other much worse things you could smell like. Plus animals won't just run away from you on sight now.
OneSadGuy 3
Clearly your roommate did this intentionally. He knew you had a rather dull love life, and he decided that he at leat make it easier for you with the girls on the rather heavier side. Just see this as a new "AXE" spray. Minor side effects may incude burns, pain and disfigurement.
hmshore 0
What is with so many people using the word retarded???? ugh. it's a slur that hurts people with special needs. It's just not okay to take away someone's dignity with a casual remark. You should know better but if you've never heard it before you've heard it now. Enough of using a word that demeans a population of people who can't defend themselves.
ceinaworus 0
Fag.
rtconner 0
uhm... that's a lawsuite
EricJ 3
Reckless of your roommate to drop anything out the window without checking if anyone was below first.
oreomon 0
Next time pour some hot oil on your roommate when he's in the tub.
Ninjaface 0
On the bright side, you'll taste like bacon for the next for days. On the not-so-bright side, people might try to eat you.