Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my idiot roommate read somewhere that bacon grease could be used on squeaky doors and windows. Now, we're desperately trying to scrub the rancid goop out of door hinges and window tracks. Our whole place smells like rotten pig ass and death. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
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Top comments
plutosaplanet 0
oh pick me pick me!! you were standing in line at the grocery store?!?!
pinkdancer 0
Nooooooooo! Lmfao! He only threw out the grease. Duh! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Man I swear ppl's dumb comments are the only thing funny about this website.
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Comments (109)
mendel_fml 0
Illustration (and inspiration?) is here: http://www.johnnywander.com/comics/64
chellinha93 0
LOL... OP, ohhhh shiiiiit. That must've been real hot, sucks to be you. FYL
IceCream53423 0
hold on I got this. you were standing....at the door watching him throw the pan out the window?
dogsickftl 0
Go grease lightning.. go grease lightning..
Skull_300 0
Your Roomate's FML: My parents wouldn't pay for my bus pass, so I quit school and got a roommate. Today, after cooking some bacon I cleaned up by throwing a panful of grease out my second story window. Next thing I know, my crazy roommate came running through our apartment screaming and carrying on. I could not understand what that Crazy Mother ****** was going on about. He kept jumping up and down screaming uncontrollably. I called the authorities and had him committed.
DynamicDave 11
On the opposite end of the campus?
Jotne 0
He just threw it out the window? What kind of ******* hillbilly do you live with? Does he throw garbage out of the windows too? Maybe you better check where he goes to the bathroom... Seriously though, smack the ****** with his own pan. Hard. Then tell that genetic dead end to move the **** back to whatever shithole he crawled out of. Man... I know you're yanks, but still... you are technically a civilized nation, at least learn how to fake it. That ****-up should do his part by becoming an hero. And since I just can't resist it: http://www.burntfaceman.com/
Intoxicunt 6
Ahahahahaha. This. XD
swimdiva 0
FAKE! like really? you were standing right there while ur roomate threw grease out the window? and he didn't check to see if anyone was there... and he dumped it right on u? does that not seem like waaay too much of a coincidence??
Tequilamockngbrd 7
If the roommate is stupid enough to toss hot grease out of the window, it's not too hard to believe that he's also stupid enough to not check first. Even if it is fake, does it really matter? It's funny. Do yourself a favor, take the FML for what it is, and laugh about it. If you don't think it's funny, don't waste twenty seconds commenting on it. :]
swimdiva 0
fyi, you wasted 20 seconds commenting on my comment soo... like... shut up thanks :)
MadeOfAwesome 1
YDI. Get your lazy American ass inside on the couch where it belongs.
Wlollpop 0
you were standing on the roof.
LEPOfficer 0
I guess this, too.
WTFpancakes 0
win