Today, my roommate blocked my phone number and won't speak to me. All because I mistakenly used her hand soap, thinking it was mine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while showering, I broke the cap off the shampoo. Not my shampoo, my roommate's. The $60 shampoo I swore I wouldn't touch. FML
Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML
Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML
Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go on a group trip instead of paying our water bill. Now I can't shower until next week. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
WitEluded 13
I find the blocking the number part the funniest part... If you live together, blocking the number won't stop you from talking to them.
thatonetribute 31
...that is a slight overreaction.
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Comments (45)
metalwolf 17
buy them a new soap and attach a note saying "for (name), now grow up!"
ashcmiller 6
Hahahaha sorry ?? but this is hilarious! Your roommate is nuts!
TheMarethyu 2
SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE WE HAVE A CODE 478 I REPEAT A 478
r83839 22
Who has their own hand soap, anyway? Do you have your own dishwasher detergent and toilet paper too?
DLBL 23
In my college town, two girls got into a physical fight and cops had to separate them in the parking lot. They were fighting about who used the last tampon. This was printed in the newspaper.