Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
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Top comments
ambowew 7
Really? You'd rather piss in a pot plant than simply ignore everyone while you walk to the toilet.
Tarak_fml 7
Why exactly did that seem like a good idea?
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Comments (172)
texas_redneck88 10
YDI, should of walked your lazy ass outta your room and to the bathroom
Bobissmall 13
What did i just read..?
jaredofmo 22
YDI, next time, just walk to the bathroom. Anyone notices you, just nod respectfully.
laden_swallow09 35
Holy Shatner, people! It's "SHOULD'VE", contraction of "should HAVE" and not "should of". Golly jeepers, gee whiz, I must be the only Grammar Nazi who notices this! Heil, Spellcheck!
Okayitwasme 0
If you keep judging the comments like that, No one will want to tell their stories. Some of the best books to read are written in slang. Give it a rest. (I do understand where you'r coming from.)
LaylaaMariee 0
if you don't like how people are talking on here then get the hell of it. End of story. Yeah thanks bye.
LaylaaMariee 0
if you don't like how people are talking on here then get the hell of it. End of story. Yeah thanks bye.
LaylaaMariee 0
if you don't like how people are talking on here then get the hell of it. End of story. Yeah thanks bye.
Penn2894 6
I understand the not wanting to socialize thing, but you didn't have a window or a bottle or something else in your room that was more capable of holding your piss than a plant? I hope that smell doesn't stink up your room!
op_156_fml 3
im so proud of you for learning bladder control....at least you didn't wet the bed again
OfficeNinja 5
Could have pissed in the toilet, then if you insisted on being a pig - not flushed.
chriisoula 7
next time piss yourself .. no need to stand up and walk and bla bla ..
Monkeysmommy1 0
Your roommate needs to serve an eviction notice.
rockyraccoon28 8
wow, you sound like a great roommate. you're severely antisocial and lazy, and you apparently piss wherever you want. aren't you a catch!