Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
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Top comments
ambowew 7
Really? You'd rather piss in a pot plant than simply ignore everyone while you walk to the toilet.
Tarak_fml 7
Why exactly did that seem like a good idea?
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Comments (172)
ItsApril 0
******* disgusting!
Norwegian_Wood 4
OP, you live in a country with the luxury of indoor plumbing and yet don't utilize it? I don't understand. If you have that bad of social anxiety, you should live alone. Simple as that.
livedandlaughed 10
Gross. You couldn't have made the trip to the restroom, and just lied and said you did not feel good and that is why you were not socializing?
hobojo69 23
Why couldn't u use the bathroom?
kareltje 17
You must have a really natural scent in your room. And a high humidity. And a rash from wearing urine stained t-shirts. And no girlfriend with habits like that. I can see your next FML already: Today I've been without a girlfriend for 6 years because I piss in the plants, my room smells like a clogged dixie and I'm a socially decrepit low life. FML. Good job, dude! You're going to make it big in this world!
Lenho 26
Who said OP worn the urine-stained T-shirt? Sure you're last FML was "Today, I found out no one hangs out with me because I always assume stupid things about them. FML". "You're going to make it big in this world!"
NiceOldMan 11
While I think it's a little bit of a YDI (should've thought a little more before peeing in a potted plant), I also feel bad for the OP. I think the fact that she went to such great lengths to avoid people shows that she has some kind of extreme social anxiety disorder.
SilentLucidity 5
Thats Pathetic . -.-
Bcfrmkc816 17
Not really seeing how this is fml but at least you got some sleep
beba7986 0
You're nasty! Lmao
lewok 8
"only in america!!"