Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
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Top comments
ambowew 7
Really? You'd rather piss in a pot plant than simply ignore everyone while you walk to the toilet.
Tarak_fml 7
Why exactly did that seem like a good idea?
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Comments (172)
Jimster1712 0
Haha i see what you did th... NO , PISS PUNS ARE NOT FUNNY
caity878 0
Wow stupid much? Theres something called a toilet thats gross.
schaflava 0
^^shes not going to **** you!^^
Smiff80 0
I think that's the first step in growing a marijuana plant.
smirnoff1695 0
This situation was totally avoidable and unnecessary. You could of just walked to the bathroom(like a normal person) and not talked to anybody.
PaddyMcFat 7
Stupid ****, just piss in a bottle next time..
Danielique 15
You clearly have some issues.
blinksmilewink 23
Doubt this is real.
iFizzgig 11
Are you training to be an antisocial deadbeat homeless piece of crap?
SonicRainboom 3
Your asshole training seems to be complete.
iFizzgig 11
Learned from the best...an ex
earthgirl 0
I feel bad for the OP for having to do this. Social Anxiety/Social Phobia is a real thing.
Spastastic 6
Indeed. While my Social Anxiety Disorder probably isn't bad enough to make me piss in a plant, the situation would make me extremely uncomfortable.
VaultDweller106 7
I agree with 104. I have social anxiety but I wouldn't feel that awkward that I couldn't go to the bathroom. I think OP is just lazy, no social anxiety to it.