Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
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Top comments
ambowew 7
Really? You'd rather piss in a pot plant than simply ignore everyone while you walk to the toilet.
Tarak_fml 7
Why exactly did that seem like a good idea?
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Comments (172)
rangomas 2
Watever
dendodge 17
You could have just walked to the toilet... you could have ignored everyone, or just nodded at them and mumbled "Hi" or something. YDI for trying to urinate on a plant.
Ressamies 6
how the hell could you have any sleep, when you have plant and shirt in your room, that smell like piss?
JinxosGirl87 0
If you're that against leaving the room you should have opened the window and stuck your junk out to pee. Water the grass not the small house plant.
bigdude2137 0
U got that right u look beautiful
Joey44 15
Jesus, this is so ******* weird I didn't even understand it for a few moments. I thought I was missing some sort of vital connection. But apparently there isn't one, you're just so anti-social you'd rather piss in a plant pot than walk past some people to the toilet. I'm assuming you don't have some sort of social anxiety disorder because I'm sure you'd have said if you did, so I can only conclude you're just a total weirdo.
Lenho 26
OP conduct was not antisocial, but asocial. OP would have been anti-social if s/he had pissed on roommate & guests. And, as prefixes apply to many words, learning the difference between anti- and a- can prevent you looking like an idiot in other many situations.
jgduplante 9
I'm 99% sure this guy was really high when this happened.
alexistheboss365 0
Seems legit
justcallmeajay 5
What the ****...
leadman1989 16
You might have a touch of social anxiety disorder, that's not normal soon you'll be fertilizing it aswell.