Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, my pregnant wife has been crying for hours after she found out that I’d slept with the woman who does her ultrasounds. That woman happened to have been my prom date nearly 20 years ago and I had no idea she moved back in town, let alone worked for our doctor. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, stressed to the point of breakdown over my impending daughter's birth, I went to a small church. After a long talk with the pastor, I finally began to feel some calm and peace. Too bad my wife flipped out, accused me of wanting to make her a "handmaid" and made me sleep on the couch. FML
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Top comments
kitcatjb 12
...before calling it "ugly" maybe she should think about the couch's feelings.
abhi95 31
Hormones of pregnant women: A formidable source of FMLs since the beginning of FML!
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Comments (90)
abhi95 31
Record all this and watch it after the pregnancy! Funny shit! Maybe the baby will laugh cuz you both are laughing too! Clueless little things!
samabomination 19
Pregnant women amaze me with the things they do due to hormones. Just start counting down the months until the hormones stop, hopefully, and the baby is born!
Nilorak 24
Hey! A sofa has feelings too.
abhi95 31
Don't be in a hurry to comment and spam! Someone already said that!
Nilorak 24
I did not realize.
laden_swallow09 35
It's on the first page. You have no excuse.
gracehi 33
Hey, those ugly sofas have been suffering 200 years of oppression. I myself will be joining them at their march on Washington for equal rights. I hope you and your compassionate wife can also attend.
stoych 19
I think the women who have been pregnant will understand this more than those who haven't.
xNephilim 19
I'm 10 weeks pregnant and I'm just barely starting to understand... My fiancé and I moved into our new place pretty recently and hadn't had a chance to get a new key made yet... So I got locked out the other day. No big deal, since our landlord/friend lives right next door with the extra key... But I got so upset I almost cried and sent him about 3 angry text messages. And then apologized two seconds later. It's quite ridiculous.
10showgirl 16
I've been pregnant before and i can't understand this.
Patty410 11
Ah, the beauty of pregnancy brain.
Kiki242 19
This is why I'm adopting.
awilliams44 9
she was the one being rude
steffi90 13
would you care to elaborate on how you think she was being rude? pregnancy isn't easy and her hormones are all over the place. and it is rather cute that she cares for the sofas feelings.
buckdharma 38
Those La-Z-Boy sofas don't take very good care of their selves, but they are trying to change their image. Sofa so good.
buckdharma 38
* Themselves
JMichael 26
That poor poor couch. No one takes time to think how it feels being called ugly. Don't worry ugly sofa. Someone will love you.