Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, my pregnant wife has been crying for hours after she found out that I’d slept with the woman who does her ultrasounds. That woman happened to have been my prom date nearly 20 years ago and I had no idea she moved back in town, let alone worked for our doctor. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, stressed to the point of breakdown over my impending daughter's birth, I went to a small church. After a long talk with the pastor, I finally began to feel some calm and peace. Too bad my wife flipped out, accused me of wanting to make her a "handmaid" and made me sleep on the couch. FML
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Top comments
kitcatjb 12
...before calling it "ugly" maybe she should think about the couch's feelings.
abhi95 31
Hormones of pregnant women: A formidable source of FMLs since the beginning of FML!
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Comments (90)
sdroze1389 31
if she was with her parents why couldn't they try to console her? now you need to come up with a good lie for your boss.
xNephilim 19
My wife is pregnant and hormonal and had a break down is pretty legit.
sdroze1389 31
#41. I've seen that not work before. she can be on maternity leave but he can't.
littlekellilee 45
Why can't he? We have paternal leave where I live.
sdroze1389 31
#67. not sure. depends on your job and I'm not familiar with Canadian law. leaving work due to spousal hormones got me in trouble at my Shitty job though.
CarouselHeart 11
Am I the only one who finds that kind of sweet?
Patty410 11
*suite
themogsta7 5
everyone knows that sofas have feelings too, leave the sofa alone! haha
worldclassrager 41
I bet you can't wait until the hormones end hope things don't get too out of hand...
wvcheesehead 13
And that is why it is smarter to knock them down rather than up.
Vanessa_Leeann26 17
Sounds more like a bad 'shroom trip than hormones.. But if it's that bad for her, I feel bad for you op
sammyjojo 7
Haha. I completely understand the craziness. I was guilty of it myself during my pregnancies. Laughing and crying at the same time and such. It only lasts until the baby's out, thank goodness.
P3ngu1nPlays 3
Sounds like she was sad and wanted someone to talk to, but she knew it was ridiculous... so she called her parents (but didn't want to tell them the stupid reason she was crying) instead of bothering you at work!
thisisg 9
lol first one?
Simbaby 23
It's just her hormones . Once she has the baby it'll all be over with . Congrats on the pregnancy (: