Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, my pregnant wife has been crying for hours after she found out that I’d slept with the woman who does her ultrasounds. That woman happened to have been my prom date nearly 20 years ago and I had no idea she moved back in town, let alone worked for our doctor. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, stressed to the point of breakdown over my impending daughter's birth, I went to a small church. After a long talk with the pastor, I finally began to feel some calm and peace. Too bad my wife flipped out, accused me of wanting to make her a "handmaid" and made me sleep on the couch. FML
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Top comments
kitcatjb 12
...before calling it "ugly" maybe she should think about the couch's feelings.
abhi95 31
Hormones of pregnant women: A formidable source of FMLs since the beginning of FML!
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Comments (90)
abhi95 31
Hormones of pregnant women: A formidable source of FMLs since the beginning of FML!
kalinka07 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I might have read wrong, but how I understood it is that OP did not try to call his wife, only her parents did. Maybe she would have told OP if he tried calling? I know that he needs to be there for her even though it's not a big deal, but still. Also, I understand that if it was an actual emergency like OP thought it could have been, he would need to get home as quickly as possible anyways, and so he might not have had the time to call her in the rush.
abhi95 31
#54: Chill out sherlock!
AllieCat21 21
Fun fact of the day: pregnant women's hormone levels are 1000x that of women who are not pregnant.
ximichi 3
@54- i think her parents were with her at the time, which is why they knew she eas crying and called OP.
kitcatjb 12
...before calling it "ugly" maybe she should think about the couch's feelings.
threer 30
No, it's like the "before" and "after" label. So it's labeled "ugly" and "new", "fashionable" or something.
poncho55 40
Lol, that icon with that comment. Beautiful.
Morqan_Freeman 14
OP, tell your wife about that couch that one guy on FML had sex with. Let us know her reaction to that :)
pompomkiwi 14
Because Morgan Freman is your profile pic this is funny
Sniper_Chick4110 20
I think the way the Op wrote this FML would indicate that the advertisment called the couch ugly, and the pregnant wife was crying about the couches hurt feelings. I don't think you understood the FML #2.
Yewufeefef 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hey, at least she didn't sell the couch at your home.
shaww 28
At least she didn't cry because the couch wasn't living up to its destiny of being a couch...
gracehi 33
That couch had hopes and dreams... Dreams of weary bottoms.
abhi95 31
#15: Only avid FML readers will get that!
Kiki242 19
That fml was hilarious.
MomentoMori 23
Aww, her hormones are just playing with her feelings. Best of luck to you and congrats on her pregnancy! :)
micgelleya 15
She'll laugh at this when it's over :)
buttcramp 21
yeah y'all are totally right! women can't really control the hormones and how it makes them act but hopefully she will apologize and laugh about it later. also, don't hold it against her, OP cause she'll be embarrassed enough after the fact. I did some silly things like this when I was expecting too! I'm sure all moms have lol
ZY1431 24
juat gotta deal my man
regenerate 19
at least she didn't try to buy it out of pity.
juturnaamo 29
I can see why she didn't want to tell her parents why she was crying.
abhi95 31
Oh no! More like she couldn't tell them amidst all the crying! She thought it was pretty ******* sad! Obviously it wasn't ridiculous for her!
Coop817 19
Good luck explaining that to your boss when you get back to work.
gracehi 33
Better off just saying, "I can't talk about it. It's really really REALLY super personal. Woman stuff, you know." And if he's a man you'll get the added bonus of making him uncomfortable with the term, "Woman stuff."
olpally 33
Yeah, deal with it op. Until that baby comes out, not much you can do.
asherm 15
Except keep plenty of chocolate ice cream and pickles on hand (or whatever she's craving any given moment!)
supersitter 11
Congrats on the pregnancy. It'll be worth it when the baby arrives. Endure. :) good luck