Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
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Top comments
MilanKing 0
you're lucky it was only his nose.
Fish_999 0
haha u enjoyed it really!
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Comments (319)
victorianrider 0
I can only assume you greeted him back. If not the prepare for some territorial wars. lol jk, I bet this will get thumbed down because no one here tolerates any kind of humor
Tylerdre 6
hey you were right haha they have no humour!
Mrnason26 0
was it cold lol it must of made u jump
zniltiaC 19
Cause your ass be smelly. Haha.
dcard4117 0
pretty lady but is everyone from Australia
jessecax 0
consider yourself lucky! at least it didn't mount you. awkward situation to explain if your boyfriend woke up and saw!
michael256341859 0
call me2563418590
cryoterra 1
He was just getting to know you better :)
ringogrey 4
any chance of a video of this event?
CallMeHush 1
Was his nose cold?
tbrizzy 0
bad dog
xTreason 0
he was just saying Goodmorning :p