Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to give his mother a box of chocolates and flowers for Mother's Day. She just stared at them and said, "What's this for? You're not my daughter, and never will be. But I'll keep the chocolate." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML
Today, I sent a $120 bouquet of flowers for mother's day. When I called tonight see if my Mom got them, she replied that they were still on the doorstep because she "didn't want the dogs to get excited and start barking" when she opened the front door to bring them in. FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML
Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML
Today, my boyfriend invited me over, so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom handed me a box. When I got home, I opened it. His mom had baked me a break-up cake. FML
Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML
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Top comments
starwind3438 9
Wow, what an ungrateful bitch.
Blueglasscup 18
Ouch. Marry him and then you can scream "WELL YOU'RE MY MOTHER IN-LAW NOW BITCH"... Actually don't do that.
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Comments (191)
starwind3438 9
Wow, what an ungrateful bitch.
LoveCali 0
Agreed.
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
my answer for everything (as a Russian male) is, "beat her"
kingtz 6
Such a bitch. Would it kill her to say a simple "thank you"?
ILikeBigBoobs 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
maybe she just wants what's good for her son.
kcluna 6
Poison the chocolate next time, sweetie!!
Jaimegirl 7
Agreed! You should have yanked the chocolate out of her hand and ran away! Haha
Creamysweeps 5
HAHAHAH 65
imacreeper 3
if thats her way of saying "I love you" then id hate to witness her way of saying "I hate you"
elite_stoner 0
agreeing with 49
RawrBunneh 0
66, how are your implants ?(;
spelly2650 0
couldn't agree more!
rarr 0
That Clearly isnt actually her unless shes desprate for attention on the internet...
Gamzee_fml 0
Winning!
Jimster1712 0
wow surgical implants much????
lunaXXdennice 0
I'd say 'bitch give me the chocolate u ain't keeping anything!' and give her a fake sweet smile and walk away
SunDropGirl 0
1- my thoughts exactly!
lilmisslovely13 15
65- that would have been hilarious!!!!!!
LexxyLiime 0
154 is fuhaaaaakkkkkeeee ^.^
LoonyKev 0
lol she's just playing wit u !! mind games yeah
fluffyrocka 0
In other words, she's mind f***Ing the shit out of you right now
KaanTech 0
not at all dude, more like **** off little girl but i will keep chocklates as a trophy
KaanTech 0
*chocolate ******* anti-flood protection
YOUNGMONEY4E 0
ur really stupid getta life u dickk
EvelynnG 0
140- maybe it's because your ugly that you're a being a b*tch, but just because he said that doesn't mean he's a dick. Kthanksbye.
Ultimate_Batman 28
That's a lot of downvotes
Troll_Doll 0
Sounds like she'd be a Monster-In-Law.
hihi1212 1
she is probably right tho....she osprobably just putting out...
hihi1212 1
is probably**
DeLpHe3zY 7
Dude.. No lol.. just no
abluekiwi 0
Marry the shit out of him.
cptmorgan15 2
Then **** the shit outta him on their kitchen table.
aeshleyrose 6
5 & 45 You're both geniuses. Extra points if she miscarries/comes on Mommy Dearest's spot at the table.
aardvarkish 17
not even worth it
snade 0
ORLY
cupcakeslayer 0
I was thinking that every time you see her in public from now on scream "go away your not my mommy!" and run off. might be a little embarrassing for the op though.
ssuaxman 0
yes!
aimbug 42
What the actual ****? Extra points if she miscarries?
Blueglasscup 18
Ouch. Marry him and then you can scream "WELL YOU'RE MY MOTHER IN-LAW NOW BITCH"... Actually don't do that.
nissanman_fml 16
37 - That's what he just said.
netherflame 0
No, he said shit. One does not simply marry the poop out of people into church, you know.
Bekll 31
What'd you do for your OWN mother though?
WompWompWomp123 7
sweetie pie, honey bunch -- that's not the point of this FML, mmk?
Melania890 9
Her mom might be dead. But the point of the FML is that her boyfriends mom was a bitch.
Haydenob 0
she doesn't have a mother you jack ass hole
EnterNameHere001 5
How the **** should you know, shit for brains?
Bekll 31
if OP went through that much trouble just for her boyfriend's mother, then it's natural to wonder what she did for her own if anything at all. For that matter, did the son himself? You can't ignore your own mother on Mother's Day.
aimbug 42
Maybe Op is a very kind person and did the same for both her mother and her boyfriend's mother.
rockefoe 6
Bitch. It's a celebration of MOTHERS. doesn't have to be YOUR mother.
EffinToofer 3
Right! Just never get her a Mother's Day gift again, and if she ever asks why, say " You aren't my mother, and never will be. I'll keep your son, though!"
Spanika87 0
haha love it!
vettle 6
awesome
RainbowHeadache 2
As revenge marry him & bear the fruits of his loins.
RainbowHeadache 2
bare**
CinnamonBunny 16
You were right the first time.
FarSide 23
Oh, that is a great way to get revenge. The will teach the old bitch. Dumb ass.
RainbowHeadache 2
I couldn't remember which it was so I put that to be safe. Thank you, Cinn. :]
mintcar 10
Your boyfriend's mom is clearly a rude bitch. Have you done anything to piss her off lately?
VorpikeII 17
ya, it's called dating her son!
eir64 0
regardless, no one has the god given right to turn their nose up at a nice gesture. I agree, she clearly is a rude bitch, with no manners.
mrahhhhh 21
Just say, "that's not what your son said."