Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because, "Wi-Fi’s all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said, "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil Ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML
Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML
Today, my boss - whose intelligence level hovers a hair above "Herpity derpity derp" - got up my ass and accused me of lying to him. All because I said that just because I'm a network admin, I can't make his 7 year old piece of crap Blackberry magically be able to use 4G networks. FML
Today, our computer system has irretrievably broken down due to viruses. My boss is the one who refused to get new antivirus software, but he’s still blaming me because I’m the computer guy and should be able to protect us from stupidly complicated viruses, "like the hackers in the movies." FML
Today, discovered that all the viruses I have gotten on my computer at work haven't been from anything I've done, but because my boss has secretly been using it after hours to download or watch porn so he wouldn't risk getting a virus on his own computer. I've lost 3 major projects due to this. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for not being able to fix his computer. I’m not in IT, I wasn’t hired to have anything to do with IT, but he assumes that because I’m the youngest woman in the building and look like a nerd that I’m automatically a computer expert. I don’t even own my own computer at home. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML
Today, a coworker and I got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss's infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML
Today, at work, I had to explain to a customer that she can't connect her tablet to her home WiFi while she's at work. I went to MIT for this. FML
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
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Top comments
tomwantssnow 14
Love the analogy! Most people really just don't understand the internet though, all he really needs is something like AVG.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Your simile was beautiful...
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Comments (63)
tomwantssnow 14
Love the analogy! Most people really just don't understand the internet though, all he really needs is something like AVG.
highbanana 10
Some people are just too ignorant to listen to people because 'they're my employee, not my boss' Sorry OP!
tpm45 25
I would just like to state that not ALL teenage boys are interested in ****.... Just putting it out there.
MrSassypants 34
Yeah, some are interested in asses too y'know.
EdenCrystal 21
It's hard to understand how people are attracted to balls of fat on someone's chest. Boobs aren't genitals, just annoying heavy things that can feed babies.
rosheno 4
#18 *poke* *poke* *squeeze*
SystemofaBlink41 27
Well, if you put it that way...
Kamon97 23
Tell the boss he should switch to dial up then for maximum protection
avadakedabra 15
I love how antivirus led to ****
ErinPinelli 24
rugener92 11
#36 I hear 2 cups and a long string has great anti-virus programs
BreathingClover 19
today I've learned you are gay
Wyaru 9
You'd better be glad they're attractive, or they'd be the mosquitoes of human anatomy.
Insanemf18 12
Yes less they are gay there's a point in every mans life during puberty where **** and ass fascinate him
kc_bbg15 14
Teach him how to get rid of viruses so he won't look so stupid.
LifeAlertTwerk 14
I think the boss needs to be taught more than that...
drewflav 17
FML: The domain of stupid manager stories
yupyupyuppity 5
Sometimes when I see a hater, I throw tater tots at them and say "Don't hate, just tate."
SystemofaBlink41 27
Your simile was beautiful...
introductionn 13
another simile would be, "He looked at me like a 16-year-old white girl gazes at a bundled gift of a new iPhone, a pair of Ug boots, & a cup of Starbucks coffee."
EverestMelting 23
Ignorance in the work space? Whaaaaaaaaat?!
gjikvtj 18
Simile was unreal
jack_jill05 14
I hate you profile picture with a fiery passion.
Fiorella1 19
I thought I had something on my screen because of that profile pic! :/
hannah_cheers 30
I love how this was worded. xD
pickleonaraft 7
Check his computer after work and laugh at all the **** ads he clicked.
raeepressley 12
I work in second level tech support... You have no idea how many people are convinced that they're getting hacked via Bluetooth..
Mauskau 36
It is possible though, you just need to be very close to the hacker haha.
slyde32 12
yeah, I used to be able to hack people's bluetooth, only if our phones were listed as always allow access, and in range. setting alarms on my sister's phone was great fun
FroggerForReal 11
Lol that sucks. You just can't teach that old dog new tricks so don't waste your time OP.
Trooth 13
It's ok. The one who gets the last laugh...right?