Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my son told our whole family and all our friends that I kicked him out for being gay. I kicked him out because on more than one occasion he got drunk and sneaked random men in the house while he was supposed to be watching his younger siblings while I worked nights. They believed him. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
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Top comments
formosus 0
Tell your friends you went golfing. Foursome is a very common golfing term.
whenskiesare_gre 0
Thats just ****** up. People shouldn't tell little kids shit like that.
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Comments (70)
hogermite 0
you failed at marriage. if the dad was abusive or cheating, the kid is ******. brain gets hard-wired that young from trauma. if the dad wasn't cheating, kid is still ****** for being raised in a broken home and that's not even considering the other douche-bags the wife will bring home who'll be just as bad as the first husband.I wish the kid was a girl, so we could count on her growing up to be a stripper. now it's just gonna be a felon or a gang-banger. fyl.
mish01 0
What the hell is wrong with you?
snowby2 15
That is not true what-so-ever. My parents got divorced when I was less than 1 and my oldest brother was about 4. Now my brother is off at college and going to get his masters degree in engineering. I also plan to go into engineering and am currently in the top 10% of my class. So screw your logic.
Isabella123 0
I work at a kids camp, things like that should not happen. Complain to the director of the camps.
awesome_is_me 0
report his ass! hell, you might even get on the news if you play the cards right.
mxer53 0
haha sucks but im sure one day youll laugh your ass off at it and so will ur kid when he realizes what it really means
iLoveOliverSykes 0
Haha that sucks.
Avenging_Angel 0
Well, the counselor WAS right... That's hilarious x)
Drakanaa 0
You could sue or get that counselor fired. "Defamation of character" sound familiar?
membersonly 0
Oh christ, are you joking? A foursome does not make you a freak. Molesting a child makes you a freak. Jesus.
theoffkid 0
I totally agree.
thecuteness97 0
i agree # 97 - so what if u want to have sex with multiple people. atleast u arent touching some innocent child to get aroused :) (i'd never have a 4some)
epicFAIL_Sometim 0
Well excuse me for having a good laugh! Sheesh, if you reacted like this to my foursome prank, I'd hate to see how you'd react to the little girl who I told "fingering" meant constipated...
thecuteness97 0
lol oh shit
thecuteness97 0
um wtf? like seriuosly, y would the counselor say a divorce is a foursome - if anything a 3some .... but still...