Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my son told our whole family and all our friends that I kicked him out for being gay. I kicked him out because on more than one occasion he got drunk and sneaked random men in the house while he was supposed to be watching his younger siblings while I worked nights. They believed him. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
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Top comments
formosus 0
Tell your friends you went golfing. Foursome is a very common golfing term.
whenskiesare_gre 0
Thats just ****** up. People shouldn't tell little kids shit like that.
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Comments (70)
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
I literally laughed out loud. That's ******* AWESOME. I love your son. :D and the people that told him that. sorry about the divorce, though. maybe you couldtry and foursome and -viola!- the divorce is gone :D
spoo 24
BTW, so this doesnt confuse anymore people... The person you divorce is your ex-husband or ex-wife.
Schumy0724 4
I'm a kinky freak. there's nothing wrong with it
lastminuteperm 0
You're right! He is a douche!
alsoelp 0
i don't care who you are. that's legitimately hilarious. the counselor is a dick, but it was funny nonetheless.
ddd44 0
"All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks." Don't you mean both of his friend's parents? Or does that kid have more than two?
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I'd bet they meant that their kid has more than one friend and each of those friends comes with parents who now think that the OP and her ex are "kinky freaks" .
zrhcrx 0
I work for a park district and if one of our camp counselors acted in an immature and unprofessional manner, he would surely be fired. Go to the leader of the camp and ask your kid which one told him. That counselor has proved he is not responsible enough to watch children
craigahh 0
May I ask what's normal about divorce? I thought marriage is till death.
Cloudy_fml 0
Half of all marriages end in divorce. So, in that sense, it is rather "normal".
Shyman4ever 0
Any room for a fivesome?
elfuzzo 0
YDI for getting a divorce rather than trying to work out the problems in your marriage.
Cloudy_fml 0
Maybe they already tried but discovered that it was hopeless for them.
mish01 0
YDI for getting a divorce? Wtf?? And what if the husband is abusive or cheating? Just stick with the marriage, it'll work out aye? We're not in the 50's anymore. Wake up you douche.