Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my son told our whole family and all our friends that I kicked him out for being gay. I kicked him out because on more than one occasion he got drunk and sneaked random men in the house while he was supposed to be watching his younger siblings while I worked nights. They believed him. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
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Top comments
formosus 0
Tell your friends you went golfing. Foursome is a very common golfing term.
whenskiesare_gre 0
Thats just ****** up. People shouldn't tell little kids shit like that.
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Comments (70)
666HailSatan666 0
lol, kids say the darnest things! Find out who was responsible and shoot them.
easylazy 0
Haha I did these kind of things when I was a counselor Guess what I told them a ***** was?
fml1222 0
get a life
skullbuster 0
Call the camp and get the counselor's ass booted! You need to make an example of this little bastard. And then tell all the parents of your kid's friends that you couldn't possibly have a foursome because your husband couldn't even get it up for you once a month! That will set everyone straight!
mish01 0
Why would you do such a thing? That's just disgraceful, you should know that little kids repeat everything you tell them. You should be fired.
LewJH 0
So, #30, what did you tell them a ***** was? ^^
no1askdu 5
i moderated this one lol
fml_buster 0
Nobody cares if you moderated this or not !
sexymessy 0
i care! Sike. But what's with the attitude?!
roflstephh 0
so..? do you know how it works? you're one of the probably hundreds of people who clicked "yes" on the moderating page, so that the actual moderators can put it on the site or not.
whenskiesare_gre 0
Thats just ****** up. People shouldn't tell little kids shit like that.
sayhello_fml 0
9 year old boys know what foursomes are.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Depends what type of family they come from, you know... Neither me nor my brother knew, back then.
alex_vik 1
I didn't.
trixy81 10
I barely knew what sex was when I was 9
mirandaelcraig 13
I think the person just meant almost all kids now a days know what it is. I think the parent should be proud their kid DIDN'T know yet. Also, most adults I know would ask the kid if he knew what he was talking about...
formosus 0
Tell your friends you went golfing. Foursome is a very common golfing term.
sexymessy 0
I agree. However being a mom i guess you dont want that image out there. So FYL anyways
shnibz101 0
LOL
Moemoemoe_fml 0
I'd think the OP said "freaks" not about people having a foursome, but about people having one and talking about it to their 9 year old son, which is what the parents of his friends think this is all about. Hence the "kinky freaks". Nothing wrong with wild sexual escapades if you're not mentioning them to your child. The counselor, on the other hand, needs a swift ass kicking.
somaturee 0
Gotta love assholes like that... Although, just remember, it could've been something worse. =)
coopcas 0
Well, ARE you two kinky freaks? If so, you might get some action from your dumbass kid's big mouth. And you'll have that douchebag counselor to thank, Madam!