Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my son told our whole family and all our friends that I kicked him out for being gay. I kicked him out because on more than one occasion he got drunk and sneaked random men in the house while he was supposed to be watching his younger siblings while I worked nights. They believed him. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
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Top comments
formosus 0
Tell your friends you went golfing. Foursome is a very common golfing term.
whenskiesare_gre 0
Thats just ****** up. People shouldn't tell little kids shit like that.
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Comments (70)
MissxKim 0
lmao at #6
24788 7
Kids will say anything to anyone. It's not a big deal.
onigiriqueen 0
Huh. I hope you did something about that, because that certainly is NOT something a counselor should be saying. I'd figure out who said it and demand they be fired, because they clearly aren't mature enough to deal with kids.
letitbe56 0
I would worry more about the fact that your kid seems only to have one friend...
confabulatedgod 0
I'd rather be a kinky freak having foursomes every weekend, than **** up a kids life with a divorce.
letitbe56 0
Parents more interested in kinky foursomes than parenting could **** a kid's life up too. Though I agree that people with children should try harder not to get a divorce.
snowsurfsunx3 0
they're not "ruining their life" by getting divorced! tons of my friends parents are. its normal although i would hate it to happen to me. still, i dont see why people think its screwing up childrens lives. they still HAVE their parents at least, they just arent together.
diet_otaku 0
depending on the situation, it's actually better for a child's well-being for their parents to get divorced than stay together, i.e. if the parents have violent screaming fights every night. having 2 parents who get along is better than having divorced parents, but having divorced parents is better than having 2 parents who are constantly fighting.
4ube_fml 6
Divorce doesn't screw kids' life. One in two married couples get a divorce sometime in their life. Yes marriage worked and there were never divorces when the dudes involved kind of died at age 40 (and/or giving birth). But now it's stupid to assume monogamy is "natural" (it's bad genetic mixing). Who cares what you do, you you sleep with and for what reasons. As long as everybody agrees with what they are involved in, then don't go and poke around other people's life. Like penn said : don't touch my dick unless i invite you to, and i promise not to touch yours.
jjenniferr05 0
Divorce isn't normal, or rather it shouldn't be seen as normal. One thing that ***** me off is marriage isn't taken seriously or respected as much as it used to - those vows are meant to be promises.
4ube_fml 6
it's not seen as it used to be because before, it used to last maybe 10 years, before one of them died. Besides, the traditions is to have lovers outside marriage, since marriage was never EVER about love. it's family arrangements.
n_epic_fail 14
breaking up a family shouldn't be considered "normal" your taking a kids reality and shattering it. Ur grown and you'd hate it to happen, the kid's 9. think about it
ZoomZoomMeep 0
Rofl @ #15.
isthisonetaken 0
maybe a foursome would have saved the marriage. spice things up a bit.
crazyasianlady 0
I agree with #16. Tell the kid "foursome" is a way of saying you played golf or bridge. Then tell him/her to say "divorce."
sdr_fml 0
ooooo, haven't heard this one before.... /sarcasm
rs_27 0
You have no idea if it is ruining their lives it has never happened to you. Don't go shouting your opinions about things you have been through.