SHUT UP

Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML

Howdy!

Today, I met my new neighbors. The first thing they did was build a fence. FML

Meat is murder

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

Overrun

Today, after I warned my wife that keeping chickens wouldn’t be easy but no, she insisted on having 20 roaming around and at some point a wild cockerel got in, plus she clearly wasn’t finding all the eggs so a bunch of hidden eggs have started hatching. What once was 20 is now 67 and rising. FML

Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML

Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML

Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML

Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML

Isn't that illegal?

Today, my neighbor, who has 4 video cameras pointed at the front of my house, got a drone that’s now hovering over my backyard. FML