Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML
Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML
Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML
Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML
Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Who needs a gym membership when you already have a perfectly good bed capable of enduring all the working out you'll ever need?
SChew 6
so go get a gym membership
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Comments (89)
sapphirestar 0
lol you have such a helpful neighbour.. that's good! xD haha
sallen0046 4
I have a neighbor like you, and you absolutely deserve it. It's rude and inconsiderate. Even if being seen doesn't bother you, it certainly bothers other people.
UpYoursInAdvance 0
FYL OP and tell that bitch and everyone else that big girls are in style and **** all you skinny bitches...
threetwenty 0
yes!!!
Yanni_S 0
peeping tom
luckygirl931 0
SO DIDJA GET NEW BLINDS?
airbiscuit 0
Your neighbour's a rude bitch, but get some curtains.
Nightstrike07 1
people wouldn't complain if the show was enjoyable, get curtains or work yo fat ass out, muffin top.
Matty1188 6
I don't understand ppl that don't have window coverings for their bedroom. Don't you want privacy? I sure don't want the neighbours looking in on me. Unless you live in a very remote area and have no neighbours for miles, it makes no sense.
ijenah 0
I'd rather be fat then an asshole like the lot of you people on here!! grow up and stay in school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ijenah 0
I'd rather be fat then an asshole like the lot of you people on here!! grow up and stay in school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!