Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML
Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML
Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML
Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML
Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Who needs a gym membership when you already have a perfectly good bed capable of enduring all the working out you'll ever need?
SChew 6
so go get a gym membership
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Comments (89)
FFML_314 12
I hate AFP
Alesana_Love 0
That's when you tell her that you wanted her to watch ;) p.s. lose some weight tubbyfuck
SmallTownCutie 0
p.s. gain some weight skinnyfuck(: lol I'm jk, it was just too tempting
sillybabee 3
Neighbors gonna love THAT view;)
Jimboom 12
Lol. Still, better that then the local neighbourhood kids grinning and giving you a thumbs up when they see you.
substitutes 0
This is not an FML the person was giving her some advice oh and lose some weight
FMLsOhilarious 6
OMG are you serious? You can't be, obviously you're joking. But wait, then you're not because this sorry excuse for an FML is up on the FML site. You totally DI (deserve it) for not having anything in your bedroom window. Next time cover up you idiot. As for the gym membership part, tell the lady to take her head out of her ass.
unfortunate_13 5
i would love to see the poster behind these fmls, just to check if people are really that rude, or if fml is just full of fat people.
FFML_314 12
I'm going to go with........ THE 2ND ONE. Definitely full of fat people. Fat, fat, FATTIES! All of them. Nothing but big ole' fat arses. They eat their feelings away. Do you want to know what they do this? Because, they have to stare at other people's misfortunes, day in and mother ******* day out. It weighs on a person, having a constant reminder of how grand your life is, compared to the guy who super glued his headphones to his head. You know?
FFML_314 12
*why
blinkingstarlet 15
super harsh, wow. ur kind of a dick. and ur on here... and u have cats for your pic. so cool. the reason u like to tear away at peoples' feelings attempting to make them feel bad about themselves is because u hate yourself so much.
TigerMania09 0
WTF!!!
Anarkhy 0
creepy
glorialaura21 8
So, did you? hey if I where you I would but some curtains up and take my lazy ass to the gym.